@OP,
He comes from a family of pastors; therefore, if you marry him you are inviting a lifetime of religion being at the forefront of everything you do regarding his family. This is much different than navigating relationships with run of the mill believers where it is possible to keep religion an infrequent topic of conversation. This becomes even more important if this relationship is to produce children.
Here's my standard relationship advice, regardless of initiating concern. Never base relationship decisions on the chance that the other person involved will change fundamental behaviors or beliefs. It is possible of course, but I have seen too many instances where both involved become totally miserable because each was relying on the other to change to make the relationship work. Keep in mind that your fiance can be getting advice and working under the 'change' premise; i.e., I love her despite her atheism but in time she'll see the truth and become a true believer. What happens if neither changes? The results could be disastrous, particularly if kids come along.
You love this young man for other reasons. If these reasons are strong enough to overcome the impact that religion will have on your future relationship and potential children, then have at it. Only you can decide this. Keep in mind that tolerance goes both ways, but both should be realistic about the impact of religion in your relationship.
You may want to make your next religious conversation more specific. Will he or his family have the expectation that you attend church regularly? Does his family currently know of your lack of belief? If not, how would this change things? Will they allow a known atheist to be married in the church? Will not being married in the church cause problems?
Assuming future children...
What expectation will there be regarding their religious indoctrination? How will differences between religious teachings and secular society/science be reconciled?
There's a lot to consider. I wish you the best.
He comes from a family of pastors; therefore, if you marry him you are inviting a lifetime of religion being at the forefront of everything you do regarding his family. This is much different than navigating relationships with run of the mill believers where it is possible to keep religion an infrequent topic of conversation. This becomes even more important if this relationship is to produce children.
Here's my standard relationship advice, regardless of initiating concern. Never base relationship decisions on the chance that the other person involved will change fundamental behaviors or beliefs. It is possible of course, but I have seen too many instances where both involved become totally miserable because each was relying on the other to change to make the relationship work. Keep in mind that your fiance can be getting advice and working under the 'change' premise; i.e., I love her despite her atheism but in time she'll see the truth and become a true believer. What happens if neither changes? The results could be disastrous, particularly if kids come along.
You love this young man for other reasons. If these reasons are strong enough to overcome the impact that religion will have on your future relationship and potential children, then have at it. Only you can decide this. Keep in mind that tolerance goes both ways, but both should be realistic about the impact of religion in your relationship.
You may want to make your next religious conversation more specific. Will he or his family have the expectation that you attend church regularly? Does his family currently know of your lack of belief? If not, how would this change things? Will they allow a known atheist to be married in the church? Will not being married in the church cause problems?
Assuming future children...
What expectation will there be regarding their religious indoctrination? How will differences between religious teachings and secular society/science be reconciled?
There's a lot to consider. I wish you the best.
