Conflicted, Life Has No Inherent Meaning But I Want to Adopt One

[robvalue]

I think you've been given good advice here. Recovering from depression does take time and patience, there is no simple solution and it won't happen in an instant.

I find helping others to be one of the most rewarding things, and it helps me combat my depression. Just by being on this forum you are helping others who are either lurking atheists or those in crisis of faith looking for some reason. I do voluntary work and I find it is very therapeutic.

I also agree that laughter is extremely important. I love watching comedy, telling stupid jokes, and listening to people rip the shit out of religion on the atheist experience or The non prophets (I can give you some links to these if you like, you can find them on YouTube and they have archives in their websites). Laughing is very good for you, reduces stress and helps you take a step back from your situation.

I think you're right, the religious programming has left you feeling that there should be one thing that is your purpose, like religion would have you believe. Im sure over time you'll be able to break out of that cage, and learn to put many aspects into your life, none of which are your sole purpose, but which make you happy and you feel are worthwhile.