Drinking Education

[bennyboy]

I think the best way is just treat the 18 year-old like an adult. Have dinner, ask them "Would you like a beer?" Then drink it slowly while you eat dinner and talk. Let a drink be seen as an accompaniment to other activities, rather than a central event of a coming-of-age ritual. I think this is best-- if you don't set an attitude toward drinking within the family, then her first exposure to drinking attitudes is likely to come from frat boys-- urkh!

I absolutely agree about beer and wine at dinner. I was raised that way and it turned out okay. And I did notice that it was the kids I knew in high school and early college whose parents did not do this, who binged and worse particularly freshman year.

What's puzzling me is what to do about stronger stuff. I can't just offer a little naturally, because I don't do that home. I simply don't come home and make myself a pitcher of margaritas or pour myself a shot of rum. I have a drink sometimes at a restaurant and the girls see that. And occasionally I'll put a liquor in my coffee after dinner. And my step father serves martinis when we visit. We have rum and whiskey in the pantry because I cook with it occasionally.

So, if I introduce her to spirits, it's not going to be quite so natural a thing. What I really want is for her to have an idea just how easily the taste can be hid in drinks, and how the kick often follows slowly enough, that you can have too much before you feel much of anything. Talking about this from time to time, we've already done. She's a high school senior and while I don't think she has (parents don't necessarily know), I do know that she could outside the home if she wanted to. The real question for me is should I let her try some mixed drinks at home with me, so she has some practical experience as well? That's the part I can't make my mind up about.

That's a more personal decision. My daughter's a few years off from that age, and I haven't had to deal with it. It's also a little different here in Korea, where the age of drinking is a little older, than Canada, where (if I remember correctly) I was able to buy liquor at age 18 or so.

It's possible that at this point, all your attempts at parenting will be transparent to your daughter. Encouraging the delinquency of a minor by serving her hard spirits is probably not only illegal, but she's likely to ask you "WTF are you trying to get me drunk for?"