Atheism, A Grim Position?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Hello, I'm new to the forum. Full disclosure: I'm currently a non-traditional theist. However, I have considered atheism a few times but it seems to be such a grim position. Let me explain.

As I understand atheism, these would be a few of its tenets:

There is no ultimate meaning. Therefore, all lives and events are ultimately meaningless.

That has nothing to do with whether or not gods exist.

There is no ultimate basis for value. Therefore any moral position is ultimately arbitrary and logically, equally defensible. This means that things like genocide, pedophilia, torture, etc. are equally defensible to any other moral position.

That has nothing to do with whether or not gods exist. But even if gods did exist, and we took our morals from them, those morals would still be relative and subjective.

There is no ultimate intentionality associated with/in reality. Therefore, all events, actions, thoughts and behaviors are determined by chance and necessity. Thus, an individual's thoughts and actions are determined solely by prior causal events and chance.

I'm not sure where I sit on free will vs determinism, but with some definitions of god(s), the plans they are alleged to have preclude free will and human intentionality.

At least for me, if I take these atheist positions to their logical conclusion this all seems psychologically pretty grim.

I'd suggest that you haven't really questioned your premises and their validity.