Hello all, just joined today.
I was born in a catholic family. Religion always carried a lot of feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety for me and it's hard for me to talk about this, because I'm quite ashamed.
I used to be blindly religious. I used to be obsessed with it. As a kid I counted my steps so they would never stop at six and always seven, because I was told that six was the number of the devil. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was deeply concerned with that.
I used to wake up at 3 AM and start praying compulsively because I was convinced that Satan was in my bedroom and wanted to possess me. I slept with a small cross.
I became an atheist a couple of years ago, because religion just did not work for me. However I think it left a big mark on me psychologically. I began having panic attacks. It's slowly getting better as I'm staying away from the church, but my grandparents were less than thrilled about that. They are extremely religious and very, very afraid of anyone who isn't and different points of view in general. They haven't exactly been very subtle about their disapproval of me.
I feel religion has damaged my self-esteem and made me ashamed of my feelings. I don't think I'll ever be able to have an intimate relationship with someone because of my extreme fear of intimacy caused by religion. Honestly, I feel anxious just typing this.
Sorry it's so long, but I think I really needed to get this off my chest. I'm really looking forward to having people with similar views to talk to.
I was born in a catholic family. Religion always carried a lot of feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety for me and it's hard for me to talk about this, because I'm quite ashamed.
I used to be blindly religious. I used to be obsessed with it. As a kid I counted my steps so they would never stop at six and always seven, because I was told that six was the number of the devil. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was deeply concerned with that.
I used to wake up at 3 AM and start praying compulsively because I was convinced that Satan was in my bedroom and wanted to possess me. I slept with a small cross.
I became an atheist a couple of years ago, because religion just did not work for me. However I think it left a big mark on me psychologically. I began having panic attacks. It's slowly getting better as I'm staying away from the church, but my grandparents were less than thrilled about that. They are extremely religious and very, very afraid of anyone who isn't and different points of view in general. They haven't exactly been very subtle about their disapproval of me.
I feel religion has damaged my self-esteem and made me ashamed of my feelings. I don't think I'll ever be able to have an intimate relationship with someone because of my extreme fear of intimacy caused by religion. Honestly, I feel anxious just typing this.
Sorry it's so long, but I think I really needed to get this off my chest. I'm really looking forward to having people with similar views to talk to.
