Atheism, A Grim Position?

[Pizza]

Hello, I'm new to the forum. Full disclosure: I'm currently a non-traditional theist. However, I have considered atheism a few times but it seems to be such a grim position. Let me explain.

No emotions like a feeling of grimness are not intrinsic to the object but are a state of your mind. For example some people look at a desert and see despair while others see inspirationally natural beauty. Or like how say Christian fundamentalists can think their worldview inspirational while atheists can see it as horrifying.

As I understand atheism, these would be a few of its tenets:

No tenets.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/atheism
"a disbelief in the existence of deity"
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/def...sh/atheism
"Disbelief or lack of belief in the existence of God or gods."

: a feeling that you do not or cannot believe or accept that something is true or real"
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionar...1421778317

There is no ultimate meaning. Therefore, all lives and events are ultimately meaningless.

There is no ultimate basis for value. Therefore any moral position is ultimately arbitrary and logically, equally defensible. This means that things like genocide, pedophilia, torture, etc. are equally defensible to any other moral position.
There is no ultimate intentionality associated with/in reality. Therefore, all events, actions, thoughts and behaviors are determined by chance and necessity. Thus, an individual's thoughts and actions are determined solely by prior causal events and chance.

What does "ultimate meaning" mean? I've never heard anyone give a clear definition of what it is without it ending being something boring and trivial, so why care about " ultimate meaning?" Ditto for "ultimate basis/grounding/whatever for morality." If it turns out nothing has ultimate meaning whatever that is then it doesn't ultimately matter that nothing ultimately matters. So we all go about our day as normal. I have to ask ultimately arbitrary compared to what? The ultimately arbitrary actions of a gawd?

At least for me, if I take these atheist positions to their logical conclusion this all seems psychologically pretty grim.

I'd be interested in comments why this is not necessarily the case.

Again I can't stress this enough, psychological grimness is in your head not the world.