If God sent your child to Hell.

[henryp]

I do have what we casually think of as sociopathic tendencies.  I don't care about most other people.  I could pretend, I suppose, but I could't make myself care about some random person any more than I could decide to believe in God.  

If tomorrow God came down from the heavens, or wherever he hangs out and said "Just checking in.  I'm real btw.  Try to love eachother,"  I could find value in others through such a being.  

I think the idea of it being good because of some threat from God, rather than his saying people have value is an idea with authority is an important distinction.

As it relates to this topic, though, it's a clear dichotomy in how I behave.  So the idea that "Just be good (according to general sentiment), and it'll all be cool" isn't the greatest situation for people like me.

That's a long-winded way to say, "I'm a selfish prick and only value others if it affects me somehow."

It's honest, though, I'll give you that.

We're all pals here, no reason for lies.  Besides, I'm sure there is some PETA person out there who sees you eating a chicken finger and thinks you're a selfish prick, because they've got even more empathy for things than you.  Of course, they're just overly sensitive weirdos.  It's funny how many people just happen to be living the perfect balance.  That confidence in our own beliefs is a weird thing.  I'm not sure what the purpose of it is.  Not judging, I agree I'm a selfish prick

But the more important moral of my story, is that I wasn't a selfish prick when I was religious.  I had some selfish tendencies, but the illusion of connectedness and intrinsic value of humans a belief in God provided combined with not putting too much thought into it made me a better person.

I desperately wish I could get inside other people's brains to see what they're thinking is.  Do people really care if a bunch of people in Africa starve?  They 'feel' like they do.  But most people aren't exactly taking out a 2nd mortgage to make sure those people get food.  The interesting thing with charity, is you can literally put a number on how much you care.  What do you buy for yourself before people who need the money to live get a cut?  

Every dollar is a choice, really.  That's why rich people don't get into heaven in the story.  Because every dollar you spend could be spent on saving other people's lives.  If you buy 3 mansions first like a Hollywood Philanthropist, that's just saying you care about someone more than a 4th mansion, but less than a 3rd mansion.  But it's not really any different than getting the new Ipad, or eating at a fancy restaurant.

It's like being on the way to the movies, and coming across an overturned bus on fire.  How many of those kids do you have to try and save to be a good person?  Can you save 4 of the 10 and then leave the other 6, go to your movie, and feel good about yourself?  

There's a gap between what people 'feel' and their behavior.  I'm 'honest' in that I view my behavior as the indicator.  And my behavior says I don't give a shit.  

The confusing thing for me was why more people don't wander down this line of reasoning.  But that's where whatever psychological disorder I'm working with comes into play, I think.  The 'feel' portion of my brain does not put up much of a fight, and I that may be where my road diverges.

Sort of like the shades of selfish prick, it's a lot like that with religion.  We both think Religious people are buying into a big pile of made up bullshit.  But I'm PETA, and I think most atheists are still buying into their own made up bullshit.  And I'm sure there is some sociopath murderer who thinks my caring a little about somethings is just a bunch of bullshit as well.

It's interesting stuff.