incurable/chronic/terminal illnesses

[cocunningham]

First I want to say I'm sorry to hear about both of your chronic conditions.   My wife has recently been diagnosed with a rare chronic illness that causes her quite a bit of discomfort so I know how hard it can be sometimes.
To the original post going to pay devil's advocate for a moment.  It is a common belief that our faith is tested through trials.  Let's not forget the book of job.  So our hardships are to prove our dedication to god rather than being fair weather followers.
Now back to reality.  The concept that an omnipotent creator who made us in their image then does cruel things to us so we can prove our love for them is unconditional seems a bit sadistic.  The biggest reason why religion has survived and will continue to do so despite obvious gaps is it's ability to explain the unknown and in a way to play on our ego.  Everything was made for us and this immortal all powerful parent figure is interested in all of us individuality.

The book of Job. Interesting. Remember, God is the same today, yesterday and forever, which means what he did in Job, he is still doing. How do you know he might be making a bet this very minute to let satan destroy your wife's family. Which means you die just like Job's sons died. In fact, most of those who got close to God in the Bible died horribly. Never mind the ludicrousy of the Creator of the universe stooping to make a bet with a fallen angel.
You might claim that, like Job, you are ready to say, "Though he slay me, yet will I serve him." Buy if you're like most Christians, your only reason for serving God is because you think he's the big sugar daddy in the sky who will answer your prayers. Do you think old faithful Job wasn't praying when God sent the devil after him?.
Clinging to faith in God in the midst of trials is a classic example of the Stockholm syndrome.  

I like to talk about the book of Job because it was in Catholic school discussing this portion of the bible that I really started to stop and say "Wait, What?".  The part that always got me is if God is Omniscient then he already knew the outcome of his wager with the devil prior to making it.  And following that logic the Devil knows that God is Omniscient so if God says "No trust me I know" then what could the devil counter that with.  That means then that God did those things for no reason at all.
Now what I find strange is how people do find comfort in saying it's all in God's plan.  I have a friend who is devout southern Baptist.  He had a son who had an inoperable brain tumor.  His son died young after much suffering.  His faith was only strengthened by this ordeal.  Partly I understand because the idea that his son is in heaven where all he knows is happiness is an attractive perspective, but he said multiple times that it was all part of God's plan.  I have not argued the point with him because it's such a sensitive topic but I have yet to understand why it's easier to believe that bad things were a sentient being doing terrible things intentionally rather than bad luck.