RE: Ask a True Christian (TM)
May 19, 2015 at 12:34 am
(This post was last modified: May 19, 2015 at 12:47 am by YahwehIsTheWay.)
(May 18, 2015 at 11:37 pm)ignoramus Wrote: You have trademarked your stance!
I like you already!
Microsoft didn't by any chance buy the rights from Christianity, did they?
You just can't trust these big corps!
Actually, it's Landover Baptist Church that trademarked True Christian ™. BUT YOU CAN TELL THAT I'M A TRUE CHRISTIAN ™ !!!!!! JUST LOOK AT THE ALL CAPS ABUSE!!!!!!
If Microsoft had bought out Jesus' franchise, people would just scroll to the bottom and just click "I agree" without bothering to read any of the long, rambling, boring document... oh wait...
(May 18, 2015 at 11:39 pm)Cato Wrote: What chance do Catholics, JWs and Mormons have of going to heaven?
That's up to our loving Lord. He kills and tortures whom he wills and saves whom he wills. That's why you can't kiss his holy ass enough.
Dear Lord, I praise you constantly despite the total mess you make of everything on earth. Praise the Sweet Name of Jesus. Not me. Them. Not me. Thank you Lord. Amen.
(May 19, 2015 at 12:14 am)dyresand Wrote: 1.Did you stone your disrespectful children?
2. Did you go forth and destroy your enemies and take the women for yourself?
3. Did you kill the people who didn't listen to priests.
4. Did you bash your enemy children on rocks and or walls.
After all this is a ask a true christian thread.
1. Sadly, because we True Christians are persecuted, those godless liberals passed all these child abuse laws so we can't use the Biblical Laws that allow us to stone the little brats in the public square. (Deut 21:21)
2. Again, no, damn godless conspiracy with all their stupid "crimes against humanity". (Deut 21:10-14)
3. The Lord will have the earth open up and swallow those who deny the Lord's prophets and consume all who doubt in a column of fire. Hasn't done that lately. Odd that. I'm going to have to pray on that. (Numbers 16:35)
4. We'd be happy to do that. (Psalms)
(May 19, 2015 at 12:32 am)Kitan Wrote: What makes you the true Christian when other Christians who are opposed to your message also claim the same true title?
Because I believe ALL of the Holey Bible. Even the parts that contradict each other. Even the parts that make no sense.
Glory!
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
