"Relentlessly gay" yard in Baltimore

[Crossless2.0]

[Dispatcher]: 911, what's your emergency?

[Caller]: I'd like to report a disturbance.

[Dispatcher]: What is the nature of the problem?

[Caller]: I have this neighbor whose yard is a threat to children.

[Dispatcher]: What do you mean, sir?

[Caller]: The yard is gay.

[Dispatcher]: Gay? Is that what you said, sir? Gay?

[Caller]: Yes, gay. Relentlessly gay. Aggressively gay.

[Dispatcher]: I see. Can you elaborate?

[Caller]: Well, there are colored jars hanging everywhere. And everything is groomed.

[Dispatcher]: I'm not sure that qual--

[Caller]: And rainbows.

[Dispatcher]: Rainbows?

[Caller]: I'm pretty sure they are growing orchids somewhere.

[Dispatcher]: Wait, orchids? I don't --

[Caller]: Yes, orchids. Like Robert Mapplethorpe orchids. It's disgusting!

[Dispatcher]: Growing orchids isn't a crime.

[Caller]: But the children! I'm a god-fearing--

[Dispatcher]: Look, I don't see any reason--

[Caller]: When I think of them having anal sex--

[Dispatcher]: They are having sex in public?

[Caller]: No, but their yard! It's, it's . . .

[Dispatcher]: I don't think there is any reason to send--

[Caller]: I, um . . . well, er, did I mention that they are black?

[Dispatcher]: Stay on the line, sir. I am sending a squad car immediately.