What IS good, and how do we determine it?

[abaris]

But we, as humans and not cows, can still make the choice. We can choose to fantasize about having sex with the people we see on the street while our spouse is at home waiting for us, or we can choose to simply acknowledge their sexiness, and move on. I can choose to be snippy with my husband when I'm in a bad mood about something else, or I can choose to put aside my natural feelings and treat him with kindness.

But it's walking a fine line. First, animals make choices too. They don't mate with everyone, but only with those partners that are willing to have them. Some even have lifelong relationships. Second, in my mind you're doing nothing bad to your relationship by imagining having sex with another person. Nobody's feelings get hurt, if you don't act on that impulse. And third, even the snippy part can be argued, since sometimes it's better for a relationship to have it out than to pretend. It's all situational and there's no user manual on how to act as a human being.