Do you M&Minize?

[Clueless Morgan]

M&Ms are my favorite candy. Can't say I've ever eaten them this way though. Peanut M&Ms are my most favorite, followed by classic, followed by nothing, because those are the only ones I'll recognize as M&Ms.

How dare you commit blaspheme in my thread!!  Everyone knows peanut butter M&Ms are the best!!!

Now, if you want to dump all over pretzel M&Ms, I'm totally with you.

Is this a thing or did you make it up?

The word "M&Minize" is what my family has always called eating M&Ms in a particular way.  My sister has a similar method to mine, including the "must eat one on each side of the mouth, or bite one in half and eat half on each side of the mouth" rule.  I can't remember my mom's M&Minizing protocol but it's not as extensive.

I did once explain my method to some coworkers who all looked at me like I was nuts, so M&Minizing hasn't swept the country or anything.  But I know people I'm not related to who M&Minize to a similar degree that I do.

I arrange mine similar but the light brown goes prior to red and the dark brown prior to that. I eat from the rows with the most quantity and from dark brown to blue. So if one row has more than any other, that will be the first one I eat from. If two or more are tied for the most, I will eat from those from the red end to the blue. Eventually, all rows will have an equal number.

Where are you getting tan M&Ms??  Those haven't been around since the 1990s, have they?? They replaced tan with blue.

I have to say that the quality control is so piss-poor that there are never equal amounts of each color. It really pisses me off when there is a whole bunch of brown and only one or two blues.

I have a lesser sub-rule that states that when an M&M is especially deformed, the shell is damaged, the whole M&M is broken or smashed or there are noticeable deviations in size or appearance from the average, that M&M must either be immediately eaten or it must be the first eaten once columnized in a rainbow, depending on the severity of its deviation.  Can't be havin' no weirdness with my M&Ms.

I just bought a 5 lb. bag of peanut butter M&M's yesterday, and I am halfway through. (Can I be arrested for pancreas abuse?) I'm just having at it. No special arrangements. Jus dump a bunch in tupperware. I will say they have a lot of deformities, though.

And I still miss tan.

I don't.  Tan sucked balls.  It was an ugly, unappetizing color, and replacing it with blue was an improvement to the brand.  Now we need a purple and all will be well.

And, dude, slow it down.  Even I, a connoisseur of the peanut butter M&M, am getting sick thinking of 2 1/2 pounds of M&Ms in my belly....