New novel hopeful

[Aoi Magi]

hmm, I really like the plot but the narration not-so-much. I personally feel you are moving too fast and, umm, disjointed. I as a reader really couldn't understand your environment much to fully imagine it or build any connections to the characters. So you are on a bed, and then you say the bed is in a trailer, but that really doesn't help one in visualising the environment . Same goes for the cat, a little more description of her to let the reader form a connection would be helpful.