I don't exactly know what or how I want to say it, so I'll just let it out and hope for the best.
I still haven't told any of my friends about my change in beliefs. If you knew me in real life then you would gather that I'm most likely a theist because of the activities that I partake in during the week (church, youth group, guitarist for the worship team, guitarist for my own Christian-based band and bible study group). The only place where I feel comfortable 'acting' like my true self is here, online.
The problem I have started encountering with this is that because I haven't physically said a word out loud in real life that actually matches up with how I truly feel, it's like my identity has been split into two. I'm a non-theist in my head but a theist through my actions.
Lately this has been having a really negative impact on my university studies. To make up for the lack of interaction with others as an outright non-theist I have been feeding myself with more and more information about what I think is the true nature of 'human existence' or basically secular information on religion (from a historical p.o.v.). This is the monologue that I am living where my true identity resides but it's taking away from what I should be focusing on which is my university studies instead of studying something not related to my degree at all.
The solution is to approach a friend and honestly tell them what I'm going through. The problem is that my circle of friends - which consists of theists and non-theists alike - is connected in such a way that it doesn't matter who I tell, the truth has the potential to reach key people that will turn my life into hell.
So I guess the advice I need is how to be able to talk about my situation honestly with someone but not give away everything. Do you think this is even possible?
I still haven't told any of my friends about my change in beliefs. If you knew me in real life then you would gather that I'm most likely a theist because of the activities that I partake in during the week (church, youth group, guitarist for the worship team, guitarist for my own Christian-based band and bible study group). The only place where I feel comfortable 'acting' like my true self is here, online.
The problem I have started encountering with this is that because I haven't physically said a word out loud in real life that actually matches up with how I truly feel, it's like my identity has been split into two. I'm a non-theist in my head but a theist through my actions.
Lately this has been having a really negative impact on my university studies. To make up for the lack of interaction with others as an outright non-theist I have been feeding myself with more and more information about what I think is the true nature of 'human existence' or basically secular information on religion (from a historical p.o.v.). This is the monologue that I am living where my true identity resides but it's taking away from what I should be focusing on which is my university studies instead of studying something not related to my degree at all.
The solution is to approach a friend and honestly tell them what I'm going through. The problem is that my circle of friends - which consists of theists and non-theists alike - is connected in such a way that it doesn't matter who I tell, the truth has the potential to reach key people that will turn my life into hell.
So I guess the advice I need is how to be able to talk about my situation honestly with someone but not give away everything. Do you think this is even possible?
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
