What A Bizarre Day!

[FallentoReason]

When I attempted to understand christianity, I was 17 years old and living with a friend of mine who's family visited church quite often. I HAD to go with them if I wanted to stay there, and being I had nowhere else to go, I stayed, and went with. I spent abouttttt six months trying so desperately to FEEL something, ANYTHING that the other people there felt! I felt inadequete when people would start sweating and fall to the ground crying because THE HOLY SPIRIT ENTERED THEIR BODY! I was jealous. I wanted to feel that too! Until I stepped back into reality, and found out what religion and the god concept meant to me PERSONALLY. I realized that I didnt feel anything, because there wasnt anything TO feel. I didnt fall on the ground, because I wasnt about to have a seizure. I didnt walk around professing of the holy spirit, because I didnt think it ever existed! God is like meth, people try to sell it to you on the streets, promising it will make everything better, but after you take your first hit and the shakes start to set in, you realize how much better off you were without it in the first place. I'm a fan of logic, and what doesnt make sense, just doesnt make sense. And it is not going to start making sense all of the sudden either. Things rarely operate like that. Just my opinion.

Yeah I would often wonder why people would get revelations from God during worship and not me. Especially the daughters of the Pastor.. They would tell you endless stories of the conversations they've had with God. I just didn't understand why he seemed to be absent in my life.

I got around this by thinking of God as a practical God where you were supposed to live out his Will and then things will just fall into place. They kind of did but I think because like-minded people will produce like-minded results. Of course if I and other fellows Christians did the same thing (God's will) then we will see things happen.. Like any other group of people.