I've been involved in a Christian community for about two years now. A friend of mine introduced me to their Christian friends and I attended small meetings frequently for a while. I was genuinely interested in learning about the bible at the time, and also in making friends at the meetings. For a long time, I felt convinced that I was a valuable member of the community and friend of its members. That assurance came crumbling down when my closest friend in the group (who introduced me to the others) abruptly cut off all ties of communication one day. They assured me I was still "welcome" at the meetings so I went two more times, but found myself in a chair in the corner of the room watching the others as they communicated amongst one another and disregarded my presence.
Further convincing me of the insincerity of their friendship, no one from these meetings, which ended with the school year, has contacted me in any capacity the whole summer, despite my offers to meet up and socialize with several of them. I have mentioned how alienated and doubtful of Christ's "mercy" and "Love" that this makes me feel to several religious figures, including a minister, but my concerns have been entirely overlooked. In fact, I have been threatened and yelled at by the youth minister I have turned to for guidance.
I find myself at a point in my life where I must not only accept the fact that none of the people I've regarded as friends for roughly two years have ever in fact been friends, but must also begin to open my eyes to the possibility that this whole "Christian" business is a sham. Christians assure me that I must be prepared for humans to let me down because "everyone falls short of the glory of God", but the situation is far graver than being "let down"; I have in effect been ostracized from a "Christian" community, not in so many words, but the isolation into which I have been cast makes the ostracism clear.
All this time, I have solely sought two things: God and friendship. Now, I must resign myself to the fact that neither of these things exist. I don't know where to go from here or who to trust. Both my heart and my trust have been broken by this situation and there is no one I feel I can trust as a friend or companion from this point forward.
Further convincing me of the insincerity of their friendship, no one from these meetings, which ended with the school year, has contacted me in any capacity the whole summer, despite my offers to meet up and socialize with several of them. I have mentioned how alienated and doubtful of Christ's "mercy" and "Love" that this makes me feel to several religious figures, including a minister, but my concerns have been entirely overlooked. In fact, I have been threatened and yelled at by the youth minister I have turned to for guidance.
I find myself at a point in my life where I must not only accept the fact that none of the people I've regarded as friends for roughly two years have ever in fact been friends, but must also begin to open my eyes to the possibility that this whole "Christian" business is a sham. Christians assure me that I must be prepared for humans to let me down because "everyone falls short of the glory of God", but the situation is far graver than being "let down"; I have in effect been ostracized from a "Christian" community, not in so many words, but the isolation into which I have been cast makes the ostracism clear.
All this time, I have solely sought two things: God and friendship. Now, I must resign myself to the fact that neither of these things exist. I don't know where to go from here or who to trust. Both my heart and my trust have been broken by this situation and there is no one I feel I can trust as a friend or companion from this point forward.
