RE: Silver Lining of Trump
May 6, 2017 at 1:20 pm
(This post was last modified: May 6, 2017 at 1:22 pm by Fake Messiah.)
I coincidentally heard that this year marks 100th anniversary of Mary's apparition in Fatima. I heard she talked with shepherd, one of which asked her some questions and she was telling them how God is crossed because people are telling bad, insulting stuff about him. I mean God sounds awfully a lot like Donald Trump!
Mary (in voice people do when they impersonate Trump) What do I hear people are saying that God has small hands?! Fake News! He has the biggest hands, yuge! OK? They're so big and immense, which means that the other things connected with that are also yuge!
Shepard: You mean his dick. But how do you know since you're a virgin?
Mary: Well, angel Gabriel told me. He and God were playing tennis and Gabriel saw his penis in the shower, so nothing gay, OK?
Shepard: Tennis?!
Mary: OK he jerked him off to impregnate me, in fact the whole army of archangels had to jerk him off, that's how big his dick is. That's why he created angels, as helping hands. In any way his hands are yuge, his hair is also real and all gold is his, so stop spreading fake news.
Shepard: Just one question, how did angel Gabriel bring down God's semen when he impregnated you with it?
Mary: What? He brought it in his asshole. Gotta fly now.
Mary (in voice people do when they impersonate Trump) What do I hear people are saying that God has small hands?! Fake News! He has the biggest hands, yuge! OK? They're so big and immense, which means that the other things connected with that are also yuge!
Shepard: You mean his dick. But how do you know since you're a virgin?
Mary: Well, angel Gabriel told me. He and God were playing tennis and Gabriel saw his penis in the shower, so nothing gay, OK?
Shepard: Tennis?!
Mary: OK he jerked him off to impregnate me, in fact the whole army of archangels had to jerk him off, that's how big his dick is. That's why he created angels, as helping hands. In any way his hands are yuge, his hair is also real and all gold is his, so stop spreading fake news.
Shepard: Just one question, how did angel Gabriel bring down God's semen when he impregnated you with it?
Mary: What? He brought it in his asshole. Gotta fly now.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
