So my older brother is being buried today.

[Whateverist]

There'll be a service in a church about a half hour from me but I'm not going.  Dave was a staunch and angry atheist, until depression in midlife drove him on a cross country oddyssy to go to Disney World in Florida.  Funny how he always returned to Disneyland as his go to happy place as an adult.  On the way back they stopped in Utah and that was it.  Dave was a mormon.

I got some things from my brother.  I learned everything I know about construction from him.  When I was depressed and quit my old job he hired me as his helper.  Hell I ate a lot of meals at their house back then, almost 40 years ago now.  But he was very, very difficult.

Besides being depressive himself he only ever really cared about making lots of money.  Never seemed to acquire any skill at any sport or activity other than his construction business though.  No people skills other than being a bully.  Horrible listener.  He has said a lot of hurtful things to pretty much everyone in my family over the years, though mostly not to me*.  Except for my youngest brother and myself though, they'll probably all be there.  Something about death to the religious is irresistible. 

He died of complications of diabetes brought on by an irrational, immature unwillingness to modify his eating habits.  I saw him less and less over the last several years.  Really, there just wasn't anything more to say in life and I sure don't have anything good to say about him now, especially not to his kids and wife.

I think I liked his wife even less than Dave.  She was petty, consumed by appearances and one of the dimmest people I know.  They really deserved each other.  I was the best man at their wedding.  Never cared for her but I could see why he did, they both lived for status.  Their kids are worse.  The eldest daughter chaired the republican, mormon backed proposition to ban marriage to gay people in California.  She converted to become Greek Orthodox to marry a lawyer whose specialty is breaking unions. I de-friended his older son on Fb because he was always arguing for conservative values.  His youngest son's favorite user name is "Future Elder", the mormons own him.

So, nope, not going.


*

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I think besides being closest to him in age the reason he treated me better is I saved his life when I was 4 and he was 6. We were at a park that had trails up onto a bluff in San Diego. I followed him up one of these and out on an overhanging rock that sloped down to precipitous drop. Somehow he slipped and started sliding over the rock. On the way there was one thin crack with a little dirt and grass growing in it. He grabbed a handful of grass which came out and he continued sliding. Not sure why he couldn't stand up. Possibly he was just too freaked out or maybe it was because the grit on the rock made it so slippery. So I went out and reached down and he promptly pulled me down too. Now we were both sliding down headed for a fall. But I could still reach the crack the grass had grown in and was able to get my little fingers down into the rock itself. He pulled himself up over me and then helped me up. We seldom spoke of it but the few times we did it was clear he never forgot either.

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