I'm out.

[Eilonnwy]

As some of you may have noticed, I am no longer an admin. And I'm not just no longer retired, I'm leaving entirely. I made this choice for a bunch of reasons, which amount to the fact that this place is not fun anymore. Some of my reasons mesh with EvF's reasons for stepping down. I never have liked busy forums, I can't keep up with the all the posts, and I'm sick of repeating myself and having the same arguments over and over again. It was fun for a while, now it's just aggravating.

Furthermore, being an admin was draining for personal reasons, which I'm not going to go into detail.

With that said, I'm sure some of you are happy to hear this. However, I'm not leaving because of the recent rule drama. This was actually something that has been brewing before that ever happened.

As you all know I posted a controversial article about white, male, straight, cisgendered privilege and how it's present in the atheist community. Tavarish of course has posted his complaints here, and most of you have reacted as I expected, and no, I am not going to argue the point here, but simply point out some examples in the article were taken directly from here. Obviously, these problematic attitudes exist here in various forms, and I'm no longer okay pretending it doesn't bother me or fooling myself into thinking those of you who display these attitudes might actually listen to reason after I've explained it ten times.

Not everyone here is guilty of throwing around their privilege and failing to get the point when it comes to minority issues and discrimination. However, there's enough and I'm done with it. I have no particular interest in participating in a community where ignoring minority views, and in fact encouraging discriminatory attitudes is permissible. This isn't just about the victim blaming thread, it's something that I constantly see. When a member can proudly call himself a homophobic misogynist and everyone seems to accepts it as a joke, well, that's not okay, and I don't want to be a part of it.

Of course I doubt most of you will care. In fact you've already displayed the problematic attitudes I've been objecting to in the thread Tavarish posted, or deciding to use a swastika in your avatar is an okay joke when someone like existentialist disagrees with you.

Too often I see you all gang up on anyone with a minority view. You pat each other on the back, give each other kudos, and take turns waving around the fact that you're the majority, and if that person insist on disagreeing, well obviously he/she's the troll, because a bunch of men on the internet have decided rape victims are responsible for their rape, or that cash for a vasectomy is a great idea without considering the social implications.

I know the people who need to hear this the most will mock me and demonize me for this, but I'm past the point of caring, of trying to engage in intellectual conversation when I all I get is shut down with classic derailing arguments like "You're being too emotional". My tone doesn't change what I'm saying, and I'm not going to accept that as a valid counter point to anything I say. There's a mob mentality here, and when someone disagrees with a certain group of active posters, they're dogpiled, called a troll, and driven out. Well you've finally done it to me, you should only be so proud.

To those who have engaged me honestly here, whether we agreed or disagreed on many issues, thank you. To those who insist on never seeing past their own privilege, maybe one day you'll get it, but for now, fuck off. I'm done. Enjoy what you will perceive as a victory and continue missing the point. Tear apartment my argument here all you like, I won't be responding.

I'm sorry to anyone who will genuinely miss me that I had to leave on such terms. I'll still be on the internet, just not here.