Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 27, 2024, 12:56 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Hello!
#23
RE: Hello!
Oddly, FNM...perhaps its one of those "miracles" they are always talking about...a buddy sent me this today.

Quote:A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've relea sed me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

You know I love you, sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?"


So, 35 is too old to believe in genies but there are plenty of theists older than that who believe in a sky-daddy.

Bizarre.
Reply



Messages In This Thread
Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 19, 2011 at 2:15 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 19, 2011 at 2:18 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 19, 2011 at 2:50 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm
RE: Hello! - by Cinjin - July 19, 2011 at 3:05 pm
RE: Hello! - by BloodyHeretic - July 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm
RE: Hello! - by Anomalocaris - July 19, 2011 at 3:54 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 19, 2011 at 3:58 pm
RE: Hello! - by Kayenneh - July 19, 2011 at 2:21 am
RE: Hello! - by Cinjin - July 19, 2011 at 2:24 am
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 19, 2011 at 2:30 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 19, 2011 at 4:30 am
RE: Hello! - by Autumnlicious - July 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 19, 2011 at 6:32 pm
RE: Hello! - by Paul the Human - July 19, 2011 at 6:36 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 19, 2011 at 11:58 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 20, 2011 at 12:14 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 19, 2011 at 8:21 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 19, 2011 at 8:23 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 20, 2011 at 1:35 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 20, 2011 at 11:37 am
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 20, 2011 at 12:40 pm
RE: Hello! - by edk - July 20, 2011 at 1:06 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 20, 2011 at 1:09 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 20, 2011 at 2:24 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 20, 2011 at 2:58 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 20, 2011 at 6:00 pm
RE: Hello! - by Paul the Human - July 20, 2011 at 6:05 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 20, 2011 at 6:16 pm
RE: Hello! - by fr0d0 - July 20, 2011 at 3:20 pm
RE: Hello! - by Autumnlicious - July 20, 2011 at 5:02 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 20, 2011 at 6:35 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 20, 2011 at 6:37 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 20, 2011 at 7:33 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 20, 2011 at 7:50 pm
RE: Hello! - by Autumnlicious - July 20, 2011 at 7:57 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 20, 2011 at 8:15 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 11:16 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 21, 2011 at 11:24 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 11:26 am
RE: Hello! - by Darwinian - July 21, 2011 at 11:27 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 11:32 am
RE: Hello! - by Darwinian - July 21, 2011 at 11:36 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 11:37 am
RE: Hello! - by Darwinian - July 21, 2011 at 11:39 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 21, 2011 at 11:40 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 21, 2011 at 11:30 am
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 20, 2011 at 8:03 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 11:39 am
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 21, 2011 at 11:55 am
RE: Hello! - by edk - July 21, 2011 at 11:59 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 21, 2011 at 1:09 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 21, 2011 at 4:19 pm
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 21, 2011 at 5:26 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 21, 2011 at 5:34 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 22, 2011 at 12:14 am
RE: Hello! - by edk - July 22, 2011 at 12:48 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 22, 2011 at 10:55 am
RE: Hello! - by edk - July 22, 2011 at 11:16 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 12:33 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 23, 2011 at 1:10 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 9:58 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 10:18 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 11:14 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 11:22 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 11:41 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 11:49 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 12:11 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 12:18 pm
RE: Hello! - by Napoléon - July 23, 2011 at 12:20 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 12:39 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 1:09 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 9:37 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 24, 2011 at 6:26 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 23, 2011 at 2:47 pm
RE: Hello! - by Epimethean - July 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 23, 2011 at 6:06 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 22, 2011 at 2:29 am
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 21, 2011 at 6:37 pm
RE: Hello! - by Epimethean - July 22, 2011 at 12:49 am
RE: Hello! - by fr0d0 - July 22, 2011 at 2:33 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 22, 2011 at 8:32 am
RE: Hello! - by Faith No More - July 22, 2011 at 2:36 am
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 22, 2011 at 8:13 am
RE: Hello! - by Epimethean - July 22, 2011 at 11:00 am
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 22, 2011 at 11:07 am
RE: Hello! - by Epimethean - July 22, 2011 at 11:08 am
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 22, 2011 at 12:39 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 23, 2011 at 11:49 am
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 23, 2011 at 2:25 pm
RE: Hello! - by Paul the Human - July 23, 2011 at 2:41 pm
RE: Hello! - by kriskiran - July 23, 2011 at 2:55 pm
RE: Hello! - by bozo - July 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm
RE: Hello! - by kriskiran - July 23, 2011 at 3:37 pm
RE: Hello! - by ElDinero - July 24, 2011 at 1:44 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 24, 2011 at 4:49 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 24, 2011 at 4:53 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 24, 2011 at 6:36 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 25, 2011 at 1:41 am
RE: Hello! - by ElDinero - July 24, 2011 at 4:47 pm
RE: Hello! - by ElDinero - July 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm
RE: Hello! - by ElDinero - July 24, 2011 at 6:43 pm
RE: Hello! - by TheCarlisle - July 24, 2011 at 6:46 pm
RE: Hello! - by ElDinero - July 24, 2011 at 6:58 pm
RE: Hello! - by The Grand Nudger - July 24, 2011 at 7:35 pm
RE: Hello! - by Cinjin - July 25, 2011 at 1:51 am
RE: Hello! - by Minimalist - July 25, 2011 at 2:26 am
RE: Hello! - by Cinjin - July 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 25, 2011 at 2:33 am
RE: Hello! - by bozo - July 25, 2011 at 5:22 am
RE: Hello! - by Ace Otana - July 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
Thumbs Up Hello Hello loush 17 5994 December 13, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Last Post: theophilus
  Hello hello! DgyJff 8 3647 August 30, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Last Post: RachelSkates



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)