I was married a long time to a somewhat fundy believer -- 28 years - before getting divorced. When we met I called myself a deist. Over time, I morphed into a full-on atheist, but was mostly quiet about it.
It wasn't until I started opening up my mouth that the problems started. She was OK with me being a deist/agnostic/quiet, but to come right out and challenge aspects of theism -- didn't go very well. We were "unequally yoked" as the yokels call it. I tried to look on the positive side of theism, but after 9/11, I couldn't be silent any longer. I came to be not just an atheist but anti-religion/anti-theism. I view both as a societal disease and as something to be destroyed.
During our long break up, I was posting on an atheist forum. My ex to be found out (I didn't make it secret) and was shocked at the horrible things I had to say about her god. She thought my musings were so heinous, she brought print-outs to her attorney, thinking my atheistic rants would help in a legal sense. Of course it didn't, but she thought my "god-hating" was verging on some kind of illegal behavior; a danger to children! That's how some of them think. I just laughed at how ludicrous the whole thing was.
To make a long story short, I could never be with a believer again. Deep down, many of them think you will "come around", once you get over your sin-filled, god-hating ways. If your honey's family is also mostly believers, prepare to be the odd person out. Getting married in a church is only the beginning. That part was nothing compared to what was to follow. They will all be praying for you to "come around". They will "witness" to you. Some may be quite hostile.
Now, my partner is also an atheist (an ex-fundy Christian), and it is so much better. Like an ex-smoker, she is coming to despise religion even more than I do and there is no shortage of eye-rolling whenever some idiotic theistic thing is on our radar. Being of like minds, we are much more in sync - something that I thought wasn't important when I was in my 20s, but now I would think is critically important.
It wasn't until I started opening up my mouth that the problems started. She was OK with me being a deist/agnostic/quiet, but to come right out and challenge aspects of theism -- didn't go very well. We were "unequally yoked" as the yokels call it. I tried to look on the positive side of theism, but after 9/11, I couldn't be silent any longer. I came to be not just an atheist but anti-religion/anti-theism. I view both as a societal disease and as something to be destroyed.
During our long break up, I was posting on an atheist forum. My ex to be found out (I didn't make it secret) and was shocked at the horrible things I had to say about her god. She thought my musings were so heinous, she brought print-outs to her attorney, thinking my atheistic rants would help in a legal sense. Of course it didn't, but she thought my "god-hating" was verging on some kind of illegal behavior; a danger to children! That's how some of them think. I just laughed at how ludicrous the whole thing was.
To make a long story short, I could never be with a believer again. Deep down, many of them think you will "come around", once you get over your sin-filled, god-hating ways. If your honey's family is also mostly believers, prepare to be the odd person out. Getting married in a church is only the beginning. That part was nothing compared to what was to follow. They will all be praying for you to "come around". They will "witness" to you. Some may be quite hostile.
Now, my partner is also an atheist (an ex-fundy Christian), and it is so much better. Like an ex-smoker, she is coming to despise religion even more than I do and there is no shortage of eye-rolling whenever some idiotic theistic thing is on our radar. Being of like minds, we are much more in sync - something that I thought wasn't important when I was in my 20s, but now I would think is critically important.
