(September 8, 2013 at 7:19 pm)Kereli Wrote:(September 8, 2013 at 7:12 pm)Raeven Wrote: I don't understand why she is around so much. How come you permit it? If someone -- anyone -- was trying so hard to get between me and the man I loved, I'd be putting a stop to that tout de suite. How come she is around so much to watch you make your husband a cup of tea or a snack?
Start by controlling her access to the two of you. In other words, she is welcome when she is invited to dinner -- but not otherwise.
Yes, of course. Getting her to keep her visits short isn't that hard. But a part of me doesn't want to lose contact with her. Really, it's not like she's round all the time. It's how she behaves that's the problem, always making an issue out of everything.
What sway does this woman have over you that you don't want to lose contact with her? If you don't put a stop to her shit now, you may well end up divorced like her. If need be, estrange yourself from her now while you're still young...that way there is hope for a reconciliation. I did this with my batshit loony mom...and mother-in-law. By my mid thirties, it worked itself out. Time outs can work wonders.
