Religious Bosses

[vorlon13]

Thats not a terrible way of looking at it here at work...

question, whats a moonie?

A pseudo-Christian sect who believe the second coming occurred in the person of Reverend Sun Myung Moon, a self-made Korean Media Magnate who proclaimed himself and later his second wife Hak Ja Han the messiah after allegedly meeting God in North Korea shortly before the civil war.

They're a rather funny little bunch; they believe the original sin was Eve fucking Satan and an "energy exchange" which takes place during sex tainting all humanity with demonic bad Karma, they also believe Jesus "failed" and he shouldn't have died on the cross. They also don't call God God, but "Heavenly Parents" and believe Moon and Hak Jan represented the ideal couple, despite the fact he was a known manwhore and had been known to grant "salvation" to pretty female believers if they gave him a blowjob and swallowed. I'm not making that up. What they're most famous for though is mass weddings where Moon and now Hak choose peoples spouses and marry them all at once, all of them ideally being from different countries to encourage the production of mixed race children who are seen to embody a united humanity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_s_KuIIwDI

Hak is still alive and arguably more powerful than her husband ever was, she doesn't rear her head very often since her husband damaged the Church's reputation in the western world during the 80's but she inherited almost all of Moons business empire and owns several American media outlets like Washington Post. Several Korean premiers have been members of the Unification Church and Moon and Hak have been known to order their members to campaign politically for their favored candidates in different countries, they actually got in big trouble for this in the US when they ordered their minions at their peak of membership to campaign for and vote for Ronald Regan.

Sorry, sidetrack there   Couldn't resist, I find them fascinating considering their dramatic claims and incredible success story. The Unification Church is essentially the tool Moon used to create a colossal business empire building everything from TV's to guns, and it's still expanding thanks to his believers.

I've heard there was a brownout in Hell when Rev. Moon passed away a few years ago.  Getting enough heat to appropriately roast him was a real challenge for
Satan, and for several days, billions of the damned had to make do with less than infinite torment until the demons were able to stoke the fires sufficiently to meet the demand.

Even Hell has energy problems . . .