A person who needs help.....

[maestroanth]

Hi orchids,

This may sound a bit bizarre, but I think you should look into a field of science that you may have a passion about. Unfortunately, the anecdotes about seeing Christ and stuff I think is hindering your sense of purpose in the world. People long for purpose and meaning (well, I don't because I prefer a life without purpose because I can enjoy living easier, but that sides the point . Anyway, NORMAL people long for purpose, and when they struggle to find one they create an artificial purpose in the Lord.

Anyway, the reason I say a science is because I think learning and really adapting to how scientists think can really keep you objective and thus help with mental issues I think you said you were struggling with. I'm not a scientist myself (more of an artist type) but I do envy their culture. Because separating fact and fiction and being strong enough to accept hard facts so you can deal with them will help tremendously. Plus, science will have the added benefit of fulfilling the need of purpose because there is no better purpose I can see than understanding nature and this blasted universe we all woke up in. That is true purpose in my book rather than serving "the Lord".