The need to believe?

[Thumpalumpacus]

It's these types of responses I was hopeful of when creating this thread. I felt for the most part, great, when I was an atheist, until I was faced with an everyday challenge such as my grandmother becoming ill and then dying. But even people of faith struggle with death, maybe just making sense of not seeing your loved one anymore, and just coping with that void. That void that I started scurrying to fill, and yet felt like I was leaving something that made sense to me (atheism), on a different level than religion or faith ever did. Faith doesn't make sense at all, and maybe it doesn't have to, but it's almost like you have to let go of part of yourself that makes you....you. And that is your intellect. Faith makes me feel good, secure, and comforted, but then it also causes me to wonder why so many people who believe are tortured for their faith, or why faith tests us. It seems like things we tell ourselves as believers to get through the tough times. The tough times come whether you're a believer or not, and faith doesn't make them easier, I'm finding. I think that's why I'm back at a crossroads because it's not promising what it used to. Or maybe I'm seeing it more for what it is, my clinging to thoughts that used to serve me well when I stopped questioning. As long as I don't question......

Myself, I find that void filled with simple love. In hard times, I turn to my family, my woman, my friends, and don't worry even what I myself think. And even love doesn't always make things easier -- it only makes them easier to deal with.

My Certain Someone and I were talking just earlier about the limits of logic. I'm of the mind that emotion has just as rightful a place in the human experience as logic and reason, and I make no apologies, even to myself, when on this or that occasion I cotton to emotion rather than reason. And I love her because she accepts both sides of me -- and, if I may so speak, shares them herself.

In my life I strive for balance, and that includes a balance between emotion and reason. Sometimes logic and reason are the right tools for the job, and sometimes love and empathy are. I'm old enough that I've come to trust my instincts about it, and while they do sometimes steer me wrong, those occasions are fewer and fewer.

Trust yourself, and let the scales balance naturally for you, D.

Let the truth of love be lighted
Let the love of truth shine clear
Sensibility
Armed with sense and liberty
With the heart and mind united in a single perfect sphere