Anxiety/Depression/Mental Illness Support

[zentor]

Today has been a living hell
Today was worse than any day I've had in a while.

I know now there's no hope for me, ill never be happy and ill never reach any of my goal.

Don't patronize me, I have had years of treatment and have been very proactive in my mental health, I did everything I could for the last 7 years.

I'm going to die soon, just wanted to say that god, you can take away everything in lifee that gives me joy, and you can make me cry everyday. But in the end ur just the jerk who picks on weaker beings.
But in this sense I am stronger, ill die like all men, but a heart of gold lives forever. Wheather in another realm, or your nightmares for when regret hits you for what you've done.

You will pay one day. But I don't want you to suffer. Because unlike you I believe everyone should be given more chances to be better.

You are my greatest enemy, you created me just so you could have pleasure watching me suffer, but I still don't want you to suffer.

Goodbye

---

Just seems like every little thing I do in life is full of adversity, eeverythings stacked against me
Today was gona play tor, internet died
Net came back, gpu died
Got on fone hoping to go to my depression chatroom, they closed down
Stuff like this, usually worse like when I was jailed and times ewhn I'm hospitalized always happen I can accompliish anything

So how can I beelieve gods not torturing me??

[Rhizomorph13]

Zentor,

I think you need to see this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

It should come as a great relief that the internet going down is the thing that is formost in your mind instead of how to scratch up enough food to eat for a day, or where to find clean water to drink. Seriously, get a grip.

[zentor]

I know it souds stupid maybe bad example,
But added all the miseeery at home, even neighbors coalled police and parents are again saying they will send me to a fsacility

Point is it doesn't mater if I'm atheis or agnostic,
Bad things are going to always happen to me, and good thinggs are eitehr just coincidence, or only to get my mood up so the next bad thing hurts even more

[Shell B]

I'll be the first to admit it, I get a little short tempered when my internet goes down. I suppose the fact that I work online can be my excuse. It is like showing up to work and the door is locked. You don't get paid until it is open. Still, if that were the worst of my problems, I would be a very happy person. I'm not saying it is the worst of yours, Zentor, but I do think it is time for you to put things in perspective. I have been feeling on edge and kind of cranky because of my meds. It is making me watch very carefully how I react and what I say to others, as I am afraid I might take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it. I think you need to do something similar. Think about your reaction before you have it. It doesn't always work, but going into a slump over the internet is something you might want to rethink. Perspective, exercise, fun, work it out.

[zentor]

Jusgt saw the video rofl
Gona share with family
Made me laugh and think

---

I try to follow buddhist philosopy, on my better days, and kinda like vi deo
Think its good to be happy with what u got I guesss

My I'm pissed cuz my charter cable giving me intermttent connection for a week now, it works then drops conection for a minute randomly throughout the day...techs came everything no one knows what's wrong even got new modem....very anoying in tor when I'm bout to finish fp and die and not get credit...

Also mad cuz I'm lvl 49 and 50 max, and I kept thinking, I bet god will pull the rug out lasst minute, and lo and behold my conection probs and now gpu is dead.

---

Also this song from ffx cheers me up cuz I don't wana spoil story but like thee guy
Maybe my whole life is just a dream and I can just close my eyes and fade away with
The song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgCrwvHPw...ata_player

[Shell B]

If there were a god, he would not involve himself in your gaming. That is unimportant, at the very most.

[zentor]

What are good affirmations for when things go.bad and I say fml and.god?
Today been horrible, trigger after triggered mom yelling called cops, took PC away then my old fone I used for internet. Now I'm using a old iPod... with wifi
but I'm done today I want to stop believing in God
but without God I feel. Scared my life is just hopeless cuz even though he tortures me I belie e in destiny so without God and with my illness I have no chance of a good life

[Rhizomorph13]

My advice would be to ditch all -isms and -ologys and start fresh at, "I think, therefore I am." It took me a couple weeks in the psych ward to fully reset but I went too far and had to relearn how to do everything! It took about a year to be able to be around people without making them extremely uncomfortable by what I said and how I acted.

Here is a grab bag of shit that goes through my head that keeps me from engaging in negative behaviors in no particular order. You'll either get it or you'll stay in your self defeating rut:

Exterminate all rational thought

Embrace chaos, Sanity is for the weak!

Do something even if it turns out to be the wrong thing

Don't break laws unless it hurts nobody else and you can get away with it

If you don't like the way things are going, change what you are doing

Masterbate a lot, it totally helps and is 100% free!

My body is not in any physical danger, I'm not going to die or get hurt, this will pass


Oh and P.S. Belief is an artifact of knowledge. You can no more actively change your beliefs than you can force poop to come out your mouth.

[zentor]

Nice
ill rp as a Jedi from tor irl
there is no emotion there is peace
There is no Christianity, there is knowledge
There is no passion, there is serenity
There is no chaos, there is harmony
there is no death, there is the invisible pink unicorn

Do any atheists believe in destiny?
I know athirst just means no God, but everyone here
belivew same thing so guessing.there's a norm
do any of.u believe in destiny?
Can I believe destiny and still be a respectful atheist?

[Rhizomorph13]

...and you failed already.

Atheist just means no belief in god. We all have very different beliefs about many other subjects.

You should get to know yourself zentor; like, the real you. Stop trying to figure out what things should be or what is "good" there is no such thing. There is only, that which is, and it isn't always pretty and much of the time it is us. We are the heros in our own fairy tales but when we look at the story another way, we are the villains.