Posts: 431
Threads: 23
Joined: November 17, 2011
Reputation:
8
Jesus Poo
January 24, 2012 at 7:10 pm
I've always wanted to share this with somebody. From the Conservapedia deletion log, I present to you: "Jesus Poo" a short, hilarious article written by a Conservapedia "vandal"
http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?t...=jesus+poo
"Sisters, you know only the north; I have traveled in the south lands. There are churches there, believe me, that cut their children too, as the people of Bolvangar did--not in the same way, but just as horribly. They cut their sexual organs, yes, both boys and girls; they cut them with knives so that they shan't feel. That is what the Church does, and every church is the same: control, destroy, obliterate every good feeling. So if a war comes, and the Church is on one side of it, we must be on the other, no matter what strange allies we find ourselves bound to."
-Ruta Skadi, The Subtle Knife
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm
(This post was last modified: January 25, 2012 at 1:34 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
I would think that if the bible doesn't ever mention Jesus or God having a poo, then that must mean that having a poo is evil and sinful.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
258
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm
OTOH, jesus cursed fig trees but not shit.
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm
(This post was last modified: January 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
Maybe eating figs gave him the shits?
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation:
44
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 2:43 pm
If Jesus pooed, then he also wiped with his fingers.
the people who wrote the bible wiped with their fingers as well, and didnt wash their hands with soap, and then went back to writing the bible...
Its nasty
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation:
78
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm
come to think of it ... in all likelihood, jesus and his boys probably stank like a mother fuckin shit-house most of the damn time.
Walking from town to town in the desert sun all the time. No bath houses. No toilet paper. No decent soap. No deodorant. My guess is that people started taking his name "in vain" when he first introduced himself.
"Jesus fucking christ! That guy stinks!"
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Jesus Poo
January 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm
(This post was last modified: January 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm by Doubting Thomas.)
(January 25, 2012 at 3:25 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Quote:the people who wrote the bible wiped with their fingers as well, and didnt wash their hands with soap, and then went back to writing the bible...
That explains much.
Yeah, mainly like why there's so much shit in the bible.
(January 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm)Cinjin Wrote: My guess is that people started taking his name "in vain" when he first introduced himself.
"Jesus fucking christ! That guy stinks!"
His middle name was Herbert. So that's why people would say, "Jesus H. Christ, you stink!" But in actuality he probably didn't stink any better or worse than anyone else did back then, except maybe John the Baptist who spent a lot of time in the water.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
![[Image: holy_shit.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.nihilismandcupcakes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F04%2Fholy_shit.jpg)
![[Image: Evolution.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i1118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk619%2Fjcincain%2FPublic%2FEvolution.png)
