Great news for everyone

[Nine]

Yeah, but this one seems to be happy to acknowledge that he is an intellectual sloth.

Arn't they all?

[genkaus]

One doesn't need physical evidence of God. He does not offer that kind of evidence.

I have all the evidence I need of Him in my heart.


God is God and that's the end of it. There's no need to question the almighty creator of the universe. And why would I - I have everything I need in Him.

Amen, brother. I completely agree with you here.

In the same way, I don't need to prove that I've got 253 billion dollars in my bank account. My bank does not give evidence of that kind - not in my balance statement or in any of its computers (paper evidence - pfft. I have a greater authority than mere paper evidence). I know it in my heart that I have that much money and that is all the evidence I need. That money can give me everything I need - and it would - as soon as other people would get over their lowly standards of proof and accept my word on faith.

So when I give you a check for 10 million for all your property, please don't ask for trivial things like paper evidence. Simply accept the bounty graciously and get the fuck out.

[Sciwoman]

[KichigaiNeko]

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

That money can give me everything I need - and it would - as soon as other people would get over their lowly standards of proof and accept my word on faith.

@genkaus, when they do,I can please has BMW? ( 2 years old will be fine)


From the age of 8 to 11, I prayed to God for a bike, with spectacular lack of success. Then I stole a bike and prayed to God for forgivenesss. I heard no voice saying I was not forgiven or had to give the bike back,so that worked out splendidly.


I stopped stealing things when I was 12; got caught and the consequences were most unpleasant. Rather than admit I was afraid of punishment, I developed a conscience.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-GFqhCq2HA

[genkaus]

@genkaus, when they do,I can please has BMW? ( 2 years old will be fine)

I would, but as is often the case with us faithfuls, I'm being persecuted by the faithless amoneyists. I keep trying to practice my faith peacefully and without harming anyone, but they keep interfering by telling me "your check has bounced" or "there is no evidence of that much money in your account". Its persecution - I tell you, persecution. It is not the institution of science that is corrupt (with their teaching of evolution and such), it is the institution of banking - with their deposits and withdrawals and cash inflow and account balance and other such amoneyistic religions.

But, Money will have its justice. The economic apocalypse (commonly referred to as recession), is the Money's wrath. (Hah, there you go Christians. My apocalypse came before yours. Suckahs...)

[theVOID]

Hey guys and gals, I've got some fantastic news that you'll really want to know about.

Did you know that Jesus loves you? Yeah, it's true. He really does love you personally and all he wants from you in return is for you to love him more than anything or anyone else in this world. That's it. Pretty cool huh?

But that's not all. Because you love him that means that when you die you will be resurrected to spend the rest of eternity in paradise where you can carry on worshipping him and loving him for ever. Isn't that fantastic?

I know atheists are only the way they are because they hate God, have given in to the temptation of the flesh and evils of science and are spiritually lost. I used to be the same as you until just a few days ago but now I have been saved and I'm so happy that I just want to share that happiness with my fellow humans.

But now I'm so much better than you because I've been born again into the truth of divine love and knowledge. But you can be as good as me if you want. Brilliant isn't it?

Just study your bible and you'll find Jesus there waiting for you.

Bless you.

-Saved

Hi 'Saved', I've also got some great news for you!

You have a thing called a brain that gives you the capacity to reason without blindly following the instructions of religious texts and believing the contents unequivocally, and best of all, it's free!

That's right, no deposits, no monthly payments, you can start using your brain RIGHT NOW!!!

This is a whenever-you-like in your lifetime offer!

Feel free to make use of it!

[KichigaiNeko]

What I want to know is ...WHEN DO I GET MY STEAK KNIVES?

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

What I want to know is ...WHEN DO I GET MY STEAK KNIVES?

Fuck steak knives,what about my Beemer? (happy to compromise on a Boxer)

PS do those annoying twats who go around asking "have you heard the news?" think we all just arrived from Alpha Centuari or are as gormless as they?

[KichigaiNeko]

Great Maker!!