Relapses of a recovering god-aholic

[Welsh cake]

It's not that I believe in god but that i don't want to let go of this experience. The hard part is that I had the experience while religious and so attributed it to a 'god' but have since realized there is no god/

Well that's something for you to come to terms with.

Your audience has no independent access to what you actually experienced and cannot be expected to investigate whether or not you've distorted actual events and details, were under the influence of internal and/or external stimuli, or forgotten what happened since, or misinterpreted the experience at the time, or imagined the whole thing, and so on.

Never spoke in tongues but I did have the night terrors. They got really bad when I was in college. Of course I thought I was just getting so close to god that the devil was tempting my resolve. but when I dropped religion all of that just stopped.

If you talk to yourself for too long you usually do go mad and your brain starts to simulate all kinds of crazy shit.

None of the 'supernatural aspect' of the experience is real though.

Can one be spiritual and atheist?

Yes.