LDS

[DunnoAnymore]

I just wanted to share my --very brief-- experience with the Church of LDS. Recently, I had a falling out with my Episcopalian "friends" (not sure if they were ever friends ), so I decided to try out the Church of LDS (out of boredom if nothing else.) I brought up what happened to me at the prayer meetings I used to go to and a lovely Mormon told me "Well it doesn't sound like it was a very deep or meaningful relationship with God anyway. Unlike the Church of LDS, prayer meetings are not a covenant with God."

That's all I needed to hear to know that the Church of LDS, or any church for that matter, is not right for me; apparently the "holier-than-thou" attitude extends to every religious denomination, each one believing they are more "saved" than the rest.

I'd rather go electrocute myself than go to church on Sundays.

[Dotard]

I wouldn't go as far as electrocution, but I would rather stick my wanker in a pencil sharpener than go to church anyday.

[DunnoAnymore]

I wouldn't go as far as electrocution, but I would rather stick my wanker in a pencil sharpener than go to church anyday.

Electrocution is not nearly going far enough. These people will drive you to the brink of insanity before you finally find the inner resources to break free from their lies and deception.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

I wouldn't go as far as electrocution, but I would rather stick my wanker in a pencil sharpener than go to church anyday.

So would I,if I could fit mine in a pencil sharpener.

My favourite phrase of extreme unwillingness is "I'd eat rather my own scrotum"


Church stopped bothering me when I was 6 and found I could fart pretty much at will. These days I need to be careful.


00000000000000000000000000------------------------------------------000000000000000000000
Tangent:

Truth CAN be stranger than fiction:


The strange case of Joseph Pujol, stage name "Le Petomane", a professional farter in C19th Paris.

----------Pujol tried to 'refine' and make his acts 'gentler'; one of his favourite numbers became a rhyme about a farm which he himself composed, and which he punctuated with the usual anal renditions of the animals' sounds. The climax of his act however involved him farting his impression of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

[Kyuuketsuki]

but I would rather stick my wanker in a pencil sharpener than go to church anyday.

Fucking Ouch!!!! You're insane ... I'd rather go to feckin' church! hock:

Kyu

[Edwardo Piet]

DunnoNEmore, I wouldn't go to church either...obviously because I don't believe in it, but also because I can't bring myself to be fake and take the piss...the idea of it would be funny, but in reality I wouldn't want to be dishonest like that...it would just make me pity them even more lol (the weaker less arsey believers anyway).

I wouldn't go as far as electrocution, but I would rather stick my wanker in a pencil sharpener than go to church anyday.

So would I,if I could fit mine in a pencil sharpener.

My favourite phrase of extreme unwillingness is "I'd eat rather my own scrotum"

My two favourites are:

"I'd rather stick my genitals in bees nest!"

And

"I'd rather cut off my penis with a rusty bread knife".

They're both from the 1990s UK BBC Sitcom Bottom...first quote being from the character Richard Richard and the second being from the character Eddie Elizabeth Hitler

I like them ones lol.

EvF

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

@EOF

I pinched mine from "The Vicar of Dibley" ;from Hugo's long suffering father David Francis Matthew Horton MBE, chairman of the Parish Council,

Some Americans don't seem to understand that the UK is arse deep in characters like that,especially away from the big cities.




I've added the link for the benefit of the deprived,who may not have heard of the show.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vicar_of_Dibley

[Samson]

Dunnoanymore....

I've read their "New Testament of Christ" hand book "The Book Of Mormon"...... And I have to say that, I don't know who is more full of BS....Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons....

Personally, I would stay as far away from both of them as possible.....