Atheist and ex-gay?

[TaraJo]

I actually don't know about that... sexuality almost seems easier to change, and I'd get more pride out of it.

I would doubt that.

While I'm 'kinda' gay, I'm undoubtedly queer because I'm also transsexual. I've watched WAY too many people who spent years and years fighting their gender identity, just to find out, in the end, it's inevitable. I have a boyfriend who I love very much who has been going through that exact problem and I see how much anxiety it causes him to fight it. I've watched other friends online fight it for years before they finally just give up. And, yes, I fought it for a while, too; it wasn't until I was on the verge of suicide that I stopped fighting and even then, I stopped fighting just because I had nothing left to lose. And you know what happened with each and every one of those people? After we stopped fighting ourselves, we always wound up feeling a tremendous relief in that the fighting (which wasn't accomplishing much anyway) is over.

Truth is, though, I have never EVER met someone who has successfully fought off same sex attraction. I've met several people who have tried and been hurt because of it. I guess anything is possible, since I have heard of gay people winding up in straight relationships (and vice versa), but it doesn't happen at will.

[Ryantology]

You don't need to change your personality, because living with whatever orientation you have does not mean you have to adhere to stereotypes to legitimize yourself. Be whatever makes you comfortable.

So then, shouldn't a straight guy be able to be a bit feminine like I am, without being stigmatized so much? Most people don't understand that. I should, by your logic, be able to tell people I'm straight without them questioning it. But nope, I can't. Oh well.

By my logic, your self-image should be your first priority before you try to deal with the caprice of everyone else.

Love thyself.

[Shell B]

Sounds like someone is talking to too many idiots. I never assume a man is gay, though I can usually tell. I have to admit that I am rarely surprised to learn that someone is gay.

[sleep]

Sounds like someone is talking to too many idiots. I never assume a man is gay, though I can usually tell. I have to admit that I am rarely surprised to learn that someone is gay.

It usually is girls who are able to tell that I am... I guess that's why the few friends I do have are males. Maybe males can tell, but they just pretend not to notice, or follow "don't ask, don't tell". Anybody whose ever asked if I was gay has either been a girl or a gay male. Straight guys don't ask. In a way, it's better, but it could be worse, because they may act on assumptions.

[Shell B]

I wouldn't ask. If someone wants me to know, they will tell me. Just don't expect me to be surprised.

[NoraBrimstone]

Why would people not be your friend just because you don't like vaginas? You're either just being silly or live in some sort of backward hell hole. If it's the former, stop it. If it's the latter, run away and never go back there.

[Napoléon]

Why would people not be your friend just because you don't like vaginas? You're either just being silly or live in some sort of backward hell hole. If it's the former, stop it. If it's the latter, run away and never go back there.

If people wouldn't be his friend because he didn't like vaginas they aren't worth being friends with in the first place.

[The Grand Nudger]

Swinging Richard? What's that? If it's this, then no. Where did you get that from?

And why does anything a guy does have to be masculine though? Again, I realize this is society's fault, but, over the course of nearly 20 years, has made me feel embarrassed, ashamed, self-hatred.

Hehehe, as in "Every swinging Richard front and center". Swinging Richard, sporting cock, slinging dick, etc etc etc. Society is "making you feel" some certain way? What's up, you handed them the keys to the car? Bad idea.

[sleep]

I wouldn't ask. If someone wants me to know, they will tell me. Just don't expect me to be surprised.

I only ever surprised like one girl when I told her- surprisingly a lesbian herself (and to be honest, nobody could tell she was one unless she said anything). She actually thought I was lying when I told her I was gay. Made me feel strangely good. And the rest of anybody else who I told and said "Yeah, I figured" kinda made me feel like crap. =\

It is a bit obnoxious when people ask if I am. Almost anyone who has asked, I initially lied and said I wasn't. I don't get what makes them think it's their business or right to know. I never asked anyone if they were gay.

Also, a lot of people are homophobic, specifically the ones I happen to befriend that I lie to. -.- Religious upbringings. I can't change them. Or people just don't like gay men (like me in a way, except when they do it, they aren't self-loathing).

I've always just been to sensitive to others' opinions I guess. I always wanted people to like me. Nobody ever did. It's getting gradually worse as I get older, people who used to like me no longer do, etc.

[Napoléon]

I've always just been to sensitive to others' opinions I guess. I always wanted people to like me. Nobody ever did. It's getting gradually worse as I get older, people who used to like me no longer do, etc.

Sounds like you're trying too hard.