The Ten Commandments of that Great God ...."Grumpisius"
1. Thou shalt manipulate others to obey thy will.
2. Thou shalt indulge in illicit activity should the occasion arrive.
3. Thou shalt seize each new challenge with both hands and rip it's bloody head off.
4. Thou shalt depress the terminally cheerful.
5. Thou shalt not make an effort.
6. Thou shalt not be selfish with thy derision.
7. Thou shalt embrace the side effects of indulgence and learn through them.
8. Thou shalt not stifle the urge to giggle at human stupidity
9. Thou shalt perceive thyself to occupy the moral high ground.
10. Thou shalt not worship in Sunday; for Sunday is the day of sleeping in, wearing pyjamas all day and buying take away food for dinner.
I am cursed with a healthy appearance. Simple as that. No matter how damaged I am feeling on the inside, my outward appearance never changes. Or is it just that nobody notices me anymore??
I admit that I am vicious, petty, and pretentious, but I have some bad points as well. I am considerate of others (sometimes), I am remarkably dependable (occasionally) and I've been known to be quite co-operative (not just with the Police). I realise that I need to work on these short comings and try to discover what led me into these bad habits in the first place, but I think before much longer there should be some sign that I am returning to my spiteful, vindictive self.
I am sick of living in a world where people are still Moaning about how cruelly the object of their desire dumped them in six months after the event. Take your revenge swiftly and violently then get over it. Alternately - be the mature one. Ring him/her and their new partner and tell them how happy you are for them. Three o'clock in the morning is a good time......at ten minute intervals.
Why must our lives be so complicated by misery? If I remember to put pants on before I leave the house - it's a good day. If I haven't burnt the house down by Saturday night - it's a good week. If I still have a reasonably steady pulse on December 31st- it will have been a good year.
I have recently converted to a new religion....albeit a very exclusive one. Now as I worship my new deity (Grumpisius- god of Ill Feeling Towards Others) and chant my new mantra ("I'm OK; you lot are completely fucked") I feel empowered and feel the desire to spread the word like a Mormon paid on commission.
You won't see me knocking on doors however. for that would violate the fifth commandment of Grumpisius- "Thou shalt not make an effort". I vow to spread the word in a much more subdued manner. So if you're telling me your latest bit of grief regarding your latest lost love and I appear to have drifted off; don't worry. I am merely contemplating the teachings of the Great One and wondering how best to control the urge to bitch slap you.
I must say at this point that the state of my mental health has been called into question on several occasions these past few years. But now I feel that I am at peace, (the voices in my head agree with that assertion). If happiness is a state of mind, I've been living interstate for years.
In retrospect, I suppose it doesn't matter if I have a healthy appearance or not because it is more likely to be my questionable outlook which causes concern. the advantage of this being that nobody ever notices it. Ah life, you duplicitous wench....I embrace you!!
Our Lord's Prayer....
Our icon who art in Sydney
McDermott be thy name
Thy bad news come
Thy show be done
Cancelled by dwindling ratings.
Give us this day our final viewing
And share with us passionate kisses
As we watch those who press hard against you
Lead us into temptation
And deliver us some evil
For our topics of fiction
Now and forever...
Are men.
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
