Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"

[CapnAwesome]

I think you can be friends with people you are attracted to. Being attracted to someone as a straight guy doesn't automatically mean you are trying to get into their pants. Mature people can separate attraction and friendship. I have many female friends who are very attractive and who I don't have any sexual interest in. People need to get over it.

[thesummerqueen]

And having sexual interest doesn't mean you're going to get all romantic and bullshitty over them either. I think people equate the two far too much.

[Kirbmarc]

People need to get over it.

Exactly. I think that many men make such a fuss about the infamous "friendzone" because they don't want to be friends with a woman, they're just too scared to ask her out and pretend to be friends hoping that she'll notice them.

It doesn't work that way. If you want to approach a woman you have to be honest and have the courage to face a possible rejection.

[Creed of Heresy]

My best friend is a woman. We view each other like brother and sister. Of course men and women can be "just friends." It's quite easy.

[jonb]

I've never had issues being friends with men, but I'm not exactly attractive to all men, I think.

SNAP!

[thesummerqueen]

Are any of us attractive to "all" men?

I'd rather be attractive to a subset that appreciates what I can offer than be shallowly and more broadly appealing.

The attraction is deeper that way, and I can fuck with them more. In a good way.

[DeistPaladin]

And having sexual interest doesn't mean you're going to get all romantic and bullshitty over them either. I think people equate the two far too much.

Indeed but I would add that the emotional side is not all black-and-white as we seem to want to think. There are shades of gray between endless-love and don't-give-a-crap. Friendship is, after all, an emotional connection too. Others may disagree but I've found that even with the most casual of sex I always feel something of a connection, even if just the friendly kind.

[thesummerqueen]

Indeed but I would add that the emotional side is not all black-and-white as we seem to want to think. There are shades of gray between endless-love and don't-give-a-crap. Friendship is, after all, an emotional connection too. Others may disagree but I've found that even with the most casual of sex I always feel something of a connection, even if just the friendly kind.

Oh, sure, peach - I totally agree. It's just that I think people don't explore their real feelings enough or society leads them to believe that if you feel sexual attraction or something deeper than "acquaintance" then you must (to use the middle school term) "like-like" them and thus it's "romantic".

Does the man make me feel like the whole universe is turning around me as an axis? Do I feel like together we can build a good and productive "world" between the two of us? Is life sharper and brighter because he's around? Does he make me want to be better than I am, even if he accepts the good and bad about me? That's "romance" to me.

I can feel "close" to many people - including close enough to feel pleasure with them - but to me someone who is actually a romantic interest is someone who inspires you to greater heights and helps you get there.

[Cinjin]

Re: OP

The only friendly relationships I have with females are the ones that have direct relationships to my actual male friends. (Marriage/girlfriend)

I like women. I like talking to women. I like being around women, and although I am very friendly with women I do not have, nor have I ever had "friendships" with women.

Maybe I'm weird this way, but my relationships with the opposite sex are either - family, acquaintance, or sexual. I don't do "girl buddies," and any man who does is either playing the friend angle (which rarely ever works) or simply gay.

[Fryslân]

So basicly men have to tell their female friends that they are atracted by them and woman have to tell the male friends that they are not. That is the only quick solution that I can think of besides getting drunk together.