Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 24, 2024, 2:38 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
#1
Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
OK, so we know that humans coexisted with dinosaurs, and even rode them. How do we know that? Duh, obviously, everyone knows that!

The real question is - WHICH dinosaurs did humans ride? Unfortunately, this is not a question that science has an answer for - so we must look elsewhere. Maybe Jesus can help us!

Jesus was a carpenter. Carpenters make ladders. Ladders are used to climb tall things.

What can we conclude from this? Obviously, if Jesus rode a dinosaur, it was a TALL one. Amirite?
Reply
#2
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
Well, I think we can rule out anything with a ridged back, as that would ring satan's doorbell in females and tickle the wrong hole in males - which we know god abhors. The list of candidates shrinks.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#3
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
Jesus told me my ancestors rode a TitanoboaSmile They feed it evil non believers. They were the reason they slowly lost use of limbs and slithered. see they were a bit hefty and all rode at once. needless to say the Titanoboa go real tired of our shit after that.
Reply
#4
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
Raptors. What self-respecting person would not want to ride around on a raptor? 40 or 50 MPH top speed, turn on a dime, and will fucking eviscerate the first person to try and cut you off. Probably without even breaking stride.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
Reply
#5
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTQsOW-gjebKmt49i7lIEz...OCWwU2veEV]
Reply
#6
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRo9XG43kUbvVT0uEX4XXD...cX4D1kEH-Q]
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

Reply
#7
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
I threw back my head and laughed and made my boyfriend scowl at me in disgust.
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
Reply
#8
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
This question was answered during the invasion of Grenada
[Image: ronald_reagan_riding_a_velociraptor_by_s...8da023.jpg]
Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind - even if your voice shakes.
Maggie Kuhn
Reply
#9
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
(April 1, 2013 at 4:10 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: OK, so we know that humans coexisted with dinosaurs, and even rode them. How do we know that? Duh, obviously, everyone knows that!

The real question is - WHICH dinosaurs did humans ride? Unfortunately, this is not a question that science has an answer for - so we must look elsewhere. Maybe Jesus can help us!

Jesus was a carpenter. Carpenters make ladders. Ladders are used to climb tall things.

What can we conclude from this? Obviously, if Jesus rode a dinosaur, it was a TALL one. Amirite?

No. Jesus, using his omniscience, came to be aware that dinosaurs too would hear his word and come to commune with him by eating of his flesh, except not quite so symbolically

So the prince of peace, in the spirit of turning the other cheek, learned carpentry so he can fashion a tooth pick of appropriate size for the dinosaur to use after the Eucharist.

So the question is not which dinosaur did Jesus ride. The question is which dinosaur has had the holy communion.
Reply
#10
RE: Yes, but WHICH dinosaurs?
Well played, sir.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  which tattoo would Jesus have? Fake Messiah 11 540 January 9, 2022 at 6:07 pm
Last Post: A. Secular Human
  which version of virginity is correct? Gawdzilla Sama 21 2858 March 15, 2020 at 8:20 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Yes. He Was A Crazy Bastard. Minimalist 0 196 August 13, 2018 at 10:15 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Which do you hear (parody) RoadRunner79 4 841 May 20, 2018 at 10:03 pm
Last Post: brewer
  Which AF member would you want to babysit your kids? FatAndFaithless 69 7917 December 1, 2017 at 6:02 pm
Last Post: Cod
  Truth time: Yes. Women really are sexualized in our society. But why? ErGingerbreadMandude 27 3020 January 25, 2017 at 10:28 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Which is more magical? My imaginary friend is GOD 21 4304 March 28, 2014 at 11:35 am
Last Post: My imaginary friend is GOD
  Events of the American electoral campain which are so stupid that it hurts. krautpasta 2 1596 May 17, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  So, which one of you is /b/? Erinome 6 1983 March 21, 2012 at 10:26 am
Last Post: Creed of Heresy
  Paradoxes. Which option do you vote for? Tiberius 18 3295 December 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Last Post: Rhizomorph13



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)