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If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 12:50 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2013 at 12:58 pm by Mystic.)
Chapter 1, You think you're cooler than me?
Hi, humans, it's me God.
Listen up yo.
If you don't believe in me, I'm cool with that, just be cool with each other, so that you ascend towards my coolness.
Don't go around being intolerant and all and being good is totally cool.
Don't go around hating others who don't believe in this message.
Be compassionate, be caring, be kind...but if you're not, try to forgive yourself and try at least a little to be like that, because I forgive you cause I'm awesome like that.
Don't go disrespecting yourself, hold up your head high, and if you can't, do what you got to do, to earn your pride.
How?
Listen to the beat, the rhythm of the heart.
Peace out, I'll tell you more later.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 1:22 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2013 at 1:22 pm by Nine.)
I'd make it along the lines of:
Quit acting like dicks and get on with it.
The childs version would be:
Stop acting like doo-doo heads and get on with it.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 1:30 pm
(April 7, 2013 at 1:22 pm)Insanity x Wrote: I'd make it along the lines of:
Quit acting like dicks and get on with it.
The childs version would be:
Stop acting like doo-doo heads and get on with it.
Write more of the Child version. What would God say to children I wonder? How would he talk to them? I wanna see.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 1:52 pm
To be honest I'd feel uncomfortable telling anyone that there is a god when I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I'd much rather just tell people mortal to mortal to try not do be too much of a dick.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 2:07 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2013 at 2:08 pm by Mystic.)
Well the thing is God is in the imagination of people. God if he existed really must be beyond our imagination. I have no idea how God would talk if he existed, but tend to think, he would not talk, because then every talk would be below his intellect and show an intellect below his intellect.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 2:08 pm
(April 7, 2013 at 12:50 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: Chapter 1, You think you're cooler than me?
Hi, humans, it's me God.
Listen up yo.
If you don't believe in me, I'm cool with that, just be cool with each other, so that you ascend towards my coolness.
Don't go around being intolerant and all and being good is totally cool.
Don't go around hating others who don't believe in this message.
Be compassionate, be caring, be kind...but if you're not, try to forgive yourself and try at least a little to be like that, because I forgive you cause I'm awesome like that.
Don't go disrespecting yourself, hold up your head high, and if you can't, do what you got to do, to earn your pride.
How?
Listen to the beat, the rhythm of the heart.
Peace out, I'll tell you more later.
This is an amazing post to start because I was going to start one just like this ages ago but I forgot.
Ok well I would obviously copy of Muhammad and Joseph Smith, 2 extremely talented people at developing cults. I would base the new religion on the old ones but do it in a very vague way so it can never really be proven right or wrong. I would put in the book numerological coincidences which relate to science and stuff, if they are right they will be seen as miraculous, if proven wrong it wont matter anyway because I will be vague about if there even is numerological coincidences in the book. I would allude to the fact that evolution is true, but in a very vague way also just incase at some point in the distant future evolution is proven wrong. I would write it very poetically so if it is ever proven wrong or with errors people can just say its poetic and not meant to be literal. I would have to put threats down in the book and also make rules so that people who convert out of my religion face a lot of fear.
Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.
Impersonation is treason.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 2:28 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Mystic.)
(April 7, 2013 at 2:08 pm)paulpablo Wrote: (April 7, 2013 at 12:50 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: Chapter 1, You think you're cooler than me?
Hi, humans, it's me God.
Listen up yo.
If you don't believe in me, I'm cool with that, just be cool with each other, so that you ascend towards my coolness.
Don't go around being intolerant and all and being good is totally cool.
Don't go around hating others who don't believe in this message.
Be compassionate, be caring, be kind...but if you're not, try to forgive yourself and try at least a little to be like that, because I forgive you cause I'm awesome like that.
Don't go disrespecting yourself, hold up your head high, and if you can't, do what you got to do, to earn your pride.
How?
Listen to the beat, the rhythm of the heart.
Peace out, I'll tell you more later.
This is an amazing post to start because I was going to start one just like this ages ago but I forgot.
Ok well I would obviously copy of Muhammad and Joseph Smith, 2 extremely talented people at developing cults. I would base the new religion on the old ones but do it in a very vague way so it can never really be proven right or wrong. I would put in the book numerological coincidences which relate to science and stuff, if they are right they will be seen as miraculous, if proven wrong it wont matter anyway because I will be vague about if there even is numerological coincidences in the book. I would allude to the fact that evolution is true, but in a very vague way also just incase at some point in the distant future evolution is proven wrong. I would write it very poetically so if it is ever proven wrong or with errors people can just say its poetic and not meant to be literal. I would have to put threats down in the book and also make rules so that people who convert out of my religion face a lot of fear.
Learning from the best ay 
If people asked you to perform miracles, what would you say? I hope a better excuse than the one offered by Quran.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 4:18 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2013 at 4:21 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Hi douchebags, it's god. Next 400 chapters of the book dedicated to agricultural, civil, and mechanical engineering with nary a single she-bear eating one measely child..
Final verse :"but hey, don't take my word for it".
(I like to imagine that god is Levar Burton)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 4:40 pm
I would probably begin it with the words "Harry locked his mother in the closet."
Because if I was an all-powerful being writing a book, I'd probably write better than whoever put pen to papyrus and wrote The Bible.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
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I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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RE: If you were to make a book claiming to be revealed by God, how would you start?
April 7, 2013 at 5:41 pm
(April 7, 2013 at 2:07 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: Well the thing is God is in the imagination of people. God if he existed really must be beyond our imagination. I have no idea how God would talk if he existed, but tend to think, he would not talk, because then every talk would be below his intellect and show an intellect below his intellect.
People manage to communicate with each other all the time, in spite of differences in levels of intellect, understanding, maturity, and so on. Heck, we've managed to find ways to communicate with some non-humans to a limited degree. A being as powerful as what we imagine god to be should have no issues at all making his thoughts known to us in a manner that we could understand, unless he was a spectacularly inept designer.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
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