I was raised a Christian(Baptist) and I just didn't really question it,I was never taught to question it. I remained strong in my faith until about 11 yrs old,when I got interested in Wicca(albeit through a tv show,but hey I was a kid). Anyway I was told about how its devil worship. So I stopped and went right back (or at least tried) to Christianity. At this time I was dealing with psychiatric problems and figured God will make a way for me. I had a good period and presumed it was God's work(realizing now it wasn't,but it was mine and those helping me)
Fast forward a few years I went through a terribly tough time I had relapsed with my illness harder than every before and I started to use unhealthy ways to cope. At this time I began to doubt god fot the first time. I was praying and going to church,I even tried to read my Bible(I managed to get bored with it). A long with this I came to realize I was gay and well you can imagine how this went over. I tried to hang on, I wanted the gay to be gone so I wouldn't go to hell.(something I always feared)
No matter how hard i tried the doubt got more intense and then came the questions...I had so many questions but no satisfying answers. I managed to pick up Wicca again I preferred it to Christianity and was somewhat pleased,because I found it far less dogmatic and fear based the Christianity. Questions still arose though and and worshiping the God and Goddess left me still with a sense of something not being right. Soon after words I settled into a New age type of thing I bought crystals and incense and all this stuff. I was still dealing with severe problems and the depression became quite monstrous. I finally decided to stop trying to fit into something instead finding something that fit me.
I never really knew much about agnosticism or atheism so I looked into it. And it's like I got a dose of reality. All the arguments for atheism and the opposition to theism made so much sense to me. I began regain my critical thinking ability that I had throw out the window in a search for my "higher power". I thought more about things. "Why do bad things happen to good people?""what's the point of praying if god already knows what your praying for?"etc
I mean there are hundreds of religions,thousands of denominations of Christianity alone. Towards the end of high school I had friends try to convert me back to Christianity...didn't work out well. I dabbled in Buddhism and Taoism as well and still have a bit of things i learned in my head.
Now...I consider my self an agnostic atheist,I won't say "there is no God" but I'm not denying the possibility either...but I find it highly unlikely like a teapot orbiting earth. I'm not a master on different religions but they can't all be right,but they can be wrong. Nowadays I feel stronger in my position regardless of all the "thank you Jesus" around me. I still have a lot to learn.
My struggle with my illness is still on-going,but now I don't look to god..I look within myself.
Fast forward a few years I went through a terribly tough time I had relapsed with my illness harder than every before and I started to use unhealthy ways to cope. At this time I began to doubt god fot the first time. I was praying and going to church,I even tried to read my Bible(I managed to get bored with it). A long with this I came to realize I was gay and well you can imagine how this went over. I tried to hang on, I wanted the gay to be gone so I wouldn't go to hell.(something I always feared)
No matter how hard i tried the doubt got more intense and then came the questions...I had so many questions but no satisfying answers. I managed to pick up Wicca again I preferred it to Christianity and was somewhat pleased,because I found it far less dogmatic and fear based the Christianity. Questions still arose though and and worshiping the God and Goddess left me still with a sense of something not being right. Soon after words I settled into a New age type of thing I bought crystals and incense and all this stuff. I was still dealing with severe problems and the depression became quite monstrous. I finally decided to stop trying to fit into something instead finding something that fit me.
I never really knew much about agnosticism or atheism so I looked into it. And it's like I got a dose of reality. All the arguments for atheism and the opposition to theism made so much sense to me. I began regain my critical thinking ability that I had throw out the window in a search for my "higher power". I thought more about things. "Why do bad things happen to good people?""what's the point of praying if god already knows what your praying for?"etc
I mean there are hundreds of religions,thousands of denominations of Christianity alone. Towards the end of high school I had friends try to convert me back to Christianity...didn't work out well. I dabbled in Buddhism and Taoism as well and still have a bit of things i learned in my head.
Now...I consider my self an agnostic atheist,I won't say "there is no God" but I'm not denying the possibility either...but I find it highly unlikely like a teapot orbiting earth. I'm not a master on different religions but they can't all be right,but they can be wrong. Nowadays I feel stronger in my position regardless of all the "thank you Jesus" around me. I still have a lot to learn.
My struggle with my illness is still on-going,but now I don't look to god..I look within myself.
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welcome
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I'm curious as to what Wicca is exactly? ![[Image: tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5fb74c6d16622fb3dbb358509c9aec03/tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif)
