Chad and Ivy's hell.
No bacon. No sex.
No bacon. No sex.
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Current time: April 23, 2024, 1:57 pm
| Poll: I believe in some sort of eternal/long-term place of punishment in the afterlife. This poll is closed. |
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| No. | 25 | 75.76% | |
| Yes. | 3 | 9.09% | |
| It's possible I suppose. | 2 | 6.06% | |
| There's one Hell and you're ALL going to BURN IN IT! | 3 | 9.09% | |
| Total | 33 vote(s) | 100% | |
| * You voted for this item. | [Show Results] |
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Inventing Hell
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 RE: Inventing Hell
February 5, 2014 at 11:09 pm
(This post was last modified: February 5, 2014 at 11:10 pm by Chad32.)
Being with Ivy, and not being able to have sex with her? I'm sure that would be all kinds of torture. Then again, that would just be life for her. Even if I met her, chances are we wouldn't be having any.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason... http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/ Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50 A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh. http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html  (February 5, 2014 at 11:06 pm)Chad32 Wrote: I'm kind of trying to avoid the sex thing, but I guess roaming a hotel feeling insatiably horny, but the hotel is packed with men. That would be hell for whom? Me? A hotel full of men is hell? Are they airheads and insecure with no beards and are bacon haters?
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked "Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
You're a hard lady to torment. I'll give you that.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason... http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/ Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50 A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh. http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html (February 5, 2014 at 11:21 pm)Chad32 Wrote: You're a hard lady to torment. I'll give you that. Well... you want to torment me in men heaven! Lol You can at least make them theists and gay. I hardly picture myself suffering in men heaven.
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked "Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon 
Your hell, Ivy, is a world in which bacon exists but turns to ash immediately upon heating, leaving nothing but cold, flaccid, intolerably chewy bacon for you to eat. All beer would be flat, and all spirits would be subjected to homeopathy; that is, it is one part alcohol for a thousand parts of water. The only men around for you to have sex with are unwashed, balding human whales who can't even get around with a Rascal scooter.
Additionally in this hell, Luckie is a nun.
Now, that's a hell for me, Creed. High five!
Creed hell: No gothic stuff. Zip. Nada. No special plants, either. You dress preppy. Your neighbors are theist cops with weekly prayer meetings in the front yard. Masturbation is impossible to achieve and the only person who will fuck you is catfish.
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked "Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon 
Ivy hell:
The men are eunuchs. The women are circumsized. They keep kosher.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
(February 9, 2014 at 3:19 am)max-greece Wrote: Ivy hell: Max hell: no women left in the land of the greeks. Not even your wife. Your daughter is 20 and is the only woman there. You want to chase away all the men, but you are paralyzed from the neck down. Good luck.
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked "Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon (February 9, 2014 at 3:54 am)Ivy Wrote:(February 9, 2014 at 3:19 am)max-greece Wrote: Ivy hell: Well that sent a shiver down my spine. On the other hand - I guess my daughter is having a ball. Still - made me a bit nauseuous when I read it.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
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