Why it is not too late to turn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster

[Alex K]

I WANT TO REPENT! I WANT TO REPENT!

I just don't know to whom any more

[smax]

It still brings tears to my eyes thinking of the sacrifice the Great Tomato made when he allowed the masses to roast him at the stake, so that all man kind could experience the great sauce. It was this beautiful act that reconciled man to pasta.

[Jacob(smooth)]

Proof of your claims Pasta God!

Look around you. The proof is creation.

A few questions.

1. How does the Fsm feel about rice?
2. Is he a he or a she?
3. Do we get to jihad?
4. Can I get tax breaks.

[Alex K]

Proof of your claims Pasta God!

Look around you. The proof is creation.

A few questions.

1. How does the Fsm feel about rice?

Mie Goreng good.
Nasi Goreng bad.

[max-greece]

On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens. On the second -- because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying -- He created the land and complemented it with a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.

Oddly, doesn't sound any sillier than the jesus freaks' version.

Which raises the question - how well does humour travel through time?

I do worry that in a thousand years the Church of the FSM will be enormous, violent and utterly real.

Its happened before......obviously.

[Mothonis]

I WANT TO REPENT! I WANT TO REPENT!

I just don't know to whom any more

Repent to Talos,so you may enter savenguarde and avoid oblivion.

[archangle]

Repent, in the name of meatballs and sauce, for I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, and have come as an ambassador of the Tomato Sauce of Truth.

Woe to the blasphemer of this website, doomed to a life of salads and nay even the hope of Antipasto.

And yea, though I walk through the valley of salad, I fear not, for His seasonings and his Garlic Bread shall comfort me, I anointeth my head in Garlic Butter and await your replies.

Repent! And be starched.

well, there is less chance of this thing then the chance that a guy name jesus lived and was a real good guy

although the chances of rising and this freak thing you have are about the same.

[Minimalist]

[Fromper]

I assure you that I have long invited the FSM into my stomach, and my life has been better for it. I am of the Parmesan Cheese sect of the FSM belief, to be specific. I believe in a higher noodle to meat ratio, and am open minded to having it with or without meatballs.

I'm a Reform Pastafarian. Being vegetarian, I don't believe the FSM has meatballs.

[Tonus]

Oddly, doesn't sound any sillier than the jesus freaks' version.

It sounds cooler, though. Instead of threatening unbelievers with something as banal and insipid as "you're going to hell" the FSM worshipers can say "Pasta la vista... BABY" in a mock Austrian drawl.