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Atheist Forums › Science › Life Sciences v
W.W.J.D.

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W.W.J.D.
ShaMan Offline
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#1
Question 
W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm
What - Will - Jim - Do?

My best friend Jim shared with me today that his wife confessed to cheating on him. She explained that she had a very brief affair and that it was over. She told him that she feels terrible and would like another chance to show him she still loves him very much. She sobbed as she tried to explain to him why she thought she had done it, and how it had affected her. Jim asked me for my advice - he wanted to know how to respond to her... I responded immediately.

What advice would you give "Jim".
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Jackalope Offline
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#2
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 2:40 pm
If it were me, I would want to try to work things out.
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Tonus Offline
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#3
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 2:45 pm
[Image: gps-ankle.jpg]
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#4
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 2:50 pm
Insufficient info.

Kids. Finances. Ages. History.

It is the ultimate personal decision, though. Can you ever trust someone again?
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ShaMan Offline
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#5
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 3:03 pm
(April 3, 2014 at 2:50 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Insufficient info.

Kids. Finances. Ages. History.
Two kids - grown.

Both are financially well off.

Late 40's.

Been married for 26 years.
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Losty Offline
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#6
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 3:23 pm
(April 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm)ShaMan Wrote: What - Will - Jim - Do?

My best friend Jim shared with me today that his wife confessed to cheating on him. She explained that she had a very brief affair and that it was over. She told him that she feels terrible and would like another chance to show him she still loves him very much. She sobbed as she tried to explain to him why she thought she had done it, and how it had affected her. Jim asked me for my advice - he wanted to know how to respond to her... I responded immediately.

What advice would you give "Jim".

Ummm I would need to know a lot more about Jim and his wife I think. Cheating is a silly word to me. I don't see having sex with other people as that big of a deal. What is a big deal is lying or breaking trust/promises.

Jim has to decide first is he going to be able to live with this and he needs to be honest with himself about this. If he says yes when it's no that is unfair to himself and his wife. If the answer is no then next steps are kind of obvious, so let's say it's yes.

Jim has a lot of discussion to have with his wife. Is she happy and is he? Are they missing some key factor in their sex life? Does she desire to have more people involved in their sex life? Does he think he can live with that?

I don't have any experience in this area, but I do have outsider experience (like watching this sort of thing happen to people I know). In my opinion, the best way to avoid "cheating" is to be open and honest. Don't deny yourself or your partner things they desire sexually. If you're going to have sex with other people, do it together or at least discuss it and make it a safe acceptable open thing....well that's what I think.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
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0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#7
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 4:06 pm
(April 3, 2014 at 3:03 pm)ShaMan Wrote:
(April 3, 2014 at 2:50 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Insufficient info.

Kids. Finances. Ages. History.
Two kids - grown.

Both are financially well off.

Late 40's.

Been married for 26 years.

That's a lot to throw away, then.
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KUSA Offline
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#8
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 4:17 pm
I think Jim deserves a treat of his own. A little strange to even things up.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#9
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 4:22 pm
Difficult to judge.

From the background I'd say it was a one off - a mistake.

Everyone's entitled to a mistake once in a while.

If she was a serial cheater I'd be making different comments.

But he should forgive and move on.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Nine Offline
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#10
RE: W.W.J.D.
April 3, 2014 at 6:07 pm
Seems like half of my relatives are involved in some kind of affair and it seems to always be a complete clusterfuck.
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W.W.J.D.



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