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Heathen Sweden Patties
#1
Heathen Sweden Patties
Here is a recipe for some food from one of the most secular countries in the world. It is Swedish 'Husmanskost' (untranslatable, really) that stereotypical workaday Swede males enjoy.
Eating this may cause you to develop traits similar to stereotypical workaday swedish males:

-You strongly dislike anything innovative or foreign. You are however not racist, since all the workers of the world should unite to throw off the capitalist Yoke of Oppression.

-You are a unionist, and you do not speak to scabs who are not in the union.

-You dislike the sound of children and music.

-You love the throbbing noise of the factory floor.

-You are mostly quiet, but when you do talk, you speak LOUDLY

-You are extremely chauvinistic, homophobic and macho

-You only drink beer, extremely strong coffee, milk and vodka. When you are thirsty, you drink milk straight out of the carton instead of water.

-You have never read a book. Your only interests except working are cars, soccer and ice hockey. Your family isn't really on the list at all.

-The mere mention of religion makes you fly into a berzerk rage

-You love to work, since it means spending time away from your family. This also means you hate your legal right to 5 weeks of fully paid vacation.

-You have an extreme work ethic. You are never late for work, and you never call in sick. In fact, you never get sick.

Swedish Pannbiff med Lök

It should be noted that traditional Swedish food may taste quite bland to people who are used to spicy food full of exotic flavors.

Ingredients

Patties:
250 grams of ground pork
250 grams of ground beef
1 and a half tablespoons of breadcrumbs
50 ml of milk
1 onion, very finely chopped
1 teaspoon of sugar
2 eggs
salt
White pepper
Black pepper
Allspice

Sauce:

300 ml of beef stock
1 dl of creme fraiche
1 teaspoon of dried thyme, crushed
salt
1 half teaspoon of chinese soy
black and white pepper

Condiments:
Lingonberry Jam
Fried onions
Pickled cucumbers, sliced

Should be served with boiled carrots, potatoes and brussel sprouts

Instructions:

Don't forget to prepare and cook the potatoes, carrots and brussel sprouts!

Put the breadcrumbs in a bowl and pour on the milk. Wait until the breadcrumbs have absorbed the milk.
While you wait, fry the finely chopped onion in butter until brown.
Put the ground meat, the eggs, the fried onion and the spices for the patties in the bowl. Mix well. Use as little or as much spices as you like. The important thing is the salt balance. It should taste just a tiny bit too salty. You can try it by frying a small amount in the pan and then taste.

Oil your hands and form the dough into balls. Place them on a plate, greased with oil. (Incidentally, this dough is the same as for Swedish meat balls)

Put the balls in a medium-high hot skillet with oil and butter in it. Flatten them out so they become patties. Brown on both sides and fry them until they feel quite firm to the touch. Put aside, under tin foil in an owen on 100 centigrade, for example.

Slice an onion (don't chop it) and fry it on medium until brown and translucent. Do this in the same skillet you fried the patties in without cleaning it between. Adding a little bit of syrup helps the onions caramelise. Season lightly with salt and black pepper. Put the onions aside as well, in a serving bowl.

Pour the beef stock into the skillet (don't clean it in between!) and the creme fraiche. Bring it to a simmer. Put in the thymed soy. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Thicken the sauce with wheat flour mixed with melted butter (a light roux, basically)

It should be served family style. The fried onions should placed on top of the patties. Make certain that everyone puts extreme amounts of food on their plate. It is not allowed to speak during the meal.
A real Swedish man eats between 6-8 huge potatoes with this. If you want to go real old-school: don't peel the potatoes. Everyone peels the potatoes themselves, after they are boiled.
The lingonberry jam is mandatory. I've heard it can be bought at IKEA all over the world.
You may dink milk or beer. Nothing else is allowed (except strawberry lemonade for the kids)

Traditional Swedish cooking is based on four different flavors: Acetic acid, allspice, salt and dill. Other than that the ingredients are allowed to shine.
True to Swedish tradition a lot of things that most other countries regard as chemicals used for removing paint, cleaning, bleaching and so on are in cooking as well. Ättika, which is used to make pickles of different sorts (the well known pickled herring for example) is acetic acid diluted with water. Lutfisk is prepared using lye.
Mmm... Lye.






























































































































































































































































































































































































































































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#2
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
You don't happen to have a killer authentic recipe for Swedish-style meatballs and gravy? Please say yes. :p
Reply
#3
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
I thought that was what this recipie was all about?

Should stop going to IKEA then?
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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#4
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
Swedish meatball recipe:

1. Go to IKEA
2. Buy meatballs
Reply
#5
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
(April 10, 2014 at 8:37 am)alpha male Wrote: Swedish meatball recipe:

1. Go to IKEA
2. Buy meatballs

Um, no. Just no. Big Grin
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

Reply
#6
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
(April 9, 2014 at 8:51 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: You don't happen to have a killer authentic recipe for Swedish-style meatballs and gravy? Please say yes. :p

Yeah I do... I didn't make this recipe up however; it's from one of the most famous chefs in Sweden. Leif Mannerström, who is a typical grumpy workaday old man from my home town of Gothenburg. If it ain't broken, why fix it?
Lets see if I can translate this correctly...

600 grams of ground beef
200 grams of ground pork
1 dl of unprocessed milk (although half full fat milk and half cream works too)
1 dl of breadcrumbs
1 egg
Half a deciliter of water
2 medium potatoes, boiled
2 small yellow onions
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
3 tablespoons of canned anchovies brine
2 tablespoons veal glace (concentrated veal stock)
2 tablespoons of kikkoman soy (generic japanese soy)
Salt
Freshly ground white pepper

Mix the eggs, the water, the breadcrumbs and the milk. Let it rest for ten minutes.
Chop one of the onions finely. Grate the other one on a box cutter. Fry the chopped onion until brown.
Crush the potatoes with a fork. Mix all the ingredients together and work the dough for about 5 minutes with a wooden spoon. Salt and pepper to taste.
Form the dough into balls with oiled hands. Fry in oil mixed with butter on high medium heat.

There are a few tricks of the trade, like how you make almost perfectly spherical meat balls. But that stuff is sort of like the highest levels of Scienteology. You may DIE if I reveal it to you...

You can serve it with lingonberries, mashed potatoes and the same gravy as for the Pannbiff.
Incidentally, anchovies brine is good to put in hamburger patties. It adds a lot of 'umami'.






























































































































































































































































































































































































































































Reply
#7
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
(April 10, 2014 at 8:37 am)alpha male Wrote: Swedish meatball recipe:

1. Go to IKEA
2. Buy meatballs

No, just no.
Reply
#8
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
Great minds think alike, CD! Big Grin
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

Reply
#9
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
(April 10, 2014 at 9:47 am)sven Wrote:
(April 9, 2014 at 8:51 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: You don't happen to have a killer authentic recipe for Swedish-style meatballs and gravy? Please say yes. :p

Yeah I do... I didn't make this recipe up however; it's from one of the most famous chefs in Sweden. Leif Mannerström, who is a typical grumpy workaday old man from my home town of Gothenburg. If it ain't broken, why fix it?
Lets see if I can translate this correctly...

600 grams of ground beef
200 grams of ground pork
1 dl of unprocessed milk (although half full fat milk and half cream works too)
1 dl of breadcrumbs
1 egg
Half a deciliter of water
2 medium potatoes, boiled
2 small yellow onions
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
3 tablespoons of canned anchovies brine
2 tablespoons veal glace (concentrated veal stock)
2 tablespoons of kikkoman soy (generic japanese soy)
Salt
Freshly ground white pepper

Mix the eggs, the water, the breadcrumbs and the milk. Let it rest for ten minutes.
Chop one of the onions finely. Grate the other one on a box cutter. Fry the chopped onion until brown.
Crush the potatoes with a fork. Mix all the ingredients together and work the dough for about 5 minutes with a wooden spoon. Salt and pepper to taste.
Form the dough into balls with oiled hands. Fry in oil mixed with butter on high medium heat.

There are a few tricks of the trade, like how you make almost perfectly spherical meat balls. But that stuff is sort of like the highest levels of Scienteology. You may DIE if I reveal it to you...

You can serve it with lingonberries, mashed potatoes and the same gravy as for the Pannbiff.
Incidentally, anchovies brine is good to put in hamburger patties. It adds a lot of 'umami'.

Sounds really good - I'll have to make this and see how it turns out. :p
Reply
#10
RE: Heathen Sweden Patties
(April 10, 2014 at 9:30 am)Kayenneh Wrote: Um, no. Just no. Big Grin
Fair enough. The cinnamon rolls are good, though.
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