Being a Literal Blind Date

[BrokenQuill92]

1. I do not want discuss my blindness on a first date

2. The phrases "I've never dated a blind chick, this awesome." "You're pretty for a blind girl." "This will totally broaden my horizon." Will result in immediate termination of our date.

3. Deep breaths. I can tell the difference between ignorance and being an ass. I won't take offense if you say something stupid.

4. I'm not made of china.

5. Words related to sight are still
apart of my vocabulary.

6. You do not need to slow down your walking pace when I'm holding on to your arm

7. For those us blindies who can't read a Braille menu I will usually have an request for chicken, fish, or salad. It saves time instead of reading the whole menu to me.

8. Do not speak for me if wait staff directs my order towards you.

9. I'm sorry in advance if I trip you, hit, or knock over I'm a klutz as well as blind

10. There is an ever pervasive myth that blind people don't care about looks. THIS IS A LIE! If you want to date because you think you can skimp on taking care of yourself or you're lying to me and you're not what I'm looking for as far as looks go we will have issues.

11. If you're gonna tease me about my blindness Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles jokes are over used and boring

12. I would rather ask for help first. Yes I know it's silly and prideful but just let have this okay?

13. It is okay to ask if I need help and just because I turn you down on this occasion doesn't mean I will bite your head off for asking. (Well I might on a really downer day. Sorry in advance!)

14. At some point I will call you in tears because I've gotten lost (this only happens to me because I'm a derp. Other blind girls are not derps who start crying like puppies when they get lost in public)

15. The tip will pop off my cane and you will have awkwardly scramble for it (Sorry)

16. I will say "sorry" and "excuse me" a LOT (again this is just me cuz I'm a derp)

17. I will hug/kiss someone in greeting I thought was you at least once (more than likely in front of you. Again sorry)

18. I will accidentally sit on your pets at least once (Sorry)

[Minimalist]

That's a lot of rules.


Most guys don't have the attention span for that.

[BrokenQuill92]

Then you'll probably say something dumb or be boring

---

If your attention span is so small then I don't have time for anyone that stupid

[Jenny A]

Just think how many unfeeling idiots you find out about sooner than the rest of us. A bad relationship escaped is a bad relationship escaped.

[Chad32]

Crap. So I still have to comb my hair and make sure my shirt matches my shorts? There are just certain advantages I would expect to have when dating a blind woman.

Then again, it might tip her off that something is wrong when some other person asks if I lost my comb recently.

[BrokenQuill92]

Yeah sorry people I'm actually a girl and a human to boot which means working eyes or no looks matter

[One Above All]

2. The phrases "I've never dated a blind chick, this awesome." "You're pretty for a blind girl." "This will totally broaden my horizon." Will result in immediate termination of our date.

What about just "I've never dated a blind person before" with the intention of implying an apology in advance for anything stupid I might say?

4. I'm not made of china.

Will you be mad if I treat you as such? It's my instinct to treat all people who are in unfamiliar situations with me (by which I mean: unfamiliar situations that are unfamiliar because I'm there) as if they're made of china.

5. Words related to sight are still
apart of my vocabulary.

I tend not to use them around blind people because I think it might be seen in a negative light. If you don't think so, expect me to use them more often, but still show major restraint. Note: By "tend not to use them", I mean I avoid them like I avoid someone who's holding a flaming sword in one hand and a shotgun in the other. Sometimes I take an unwilling step toward that person, but, most of the time, I stay away.

6. You do not need to slow down your walking pace when I'm holding on to your arm

Given that I can walk faster than some people can run, I really do.
To put this into numbers, let's just say that, 5 years ago, my legs were approximately one meter long.

7. For those us blindies who can't read a Braille menu I will usually have an request for chicken, fish, or salad. It saves time instead of reading the whole menu to me.

I don't mind reading the entire menu five times as long as you choose the thing you like most on the menu. Five's my limit, though. Six is just too much.

10. There is an ever pervasive myth that blind people don't care about looks. THIS IS A LIE! If you want to date because you think you can skimp on taking care of yourself or you're lying to me and you're not what I'm looking for as far as looks go we will have issues.

Sometimes I don't shave for several weeks because I feel sadder than usual or just due to laziness. I don't like to comb my hair either, but it still looks fucking amazing that way, IMO. When I do comb it, I use hair gel to make it stand up all spiky, because that's how I like it. Unfortunately, the gods cursed me with hair that's somewhat soft when short, then gets semi-curly when it gets long.

12. I would rather ask for help first. Yes I know it's silly and prideful but just let have this okay?

13. It is okay to ask if I need help and just because I turn you down on this occasion doesn't mean I will bite your head off for asking. (Well I might on a really downer day. Sorry in advance!)

I'm not sure what to make of this.

14. At some point I will call you in tears because I've gotten lost (this only happens to me because I'm a derp. Other blind girls are not derps who start crying like puppies when they get lost in public)

As long as you don't mind if I call you, should I get lost, that's alright.

[Losty]

Okay, most of these seem pretty obvious. I do have one question though. #11 what are the good blind jokes?

Also, why are we picking on Minimalist?

[One Above All]

Also, why are we picking on Minimalist?

One ambiguously mean post aimed at Minimalist, and "we" are "picking on" Minimalist?

[Losty]

Also, why are we picking on Minimalist?

One ambiguously mean post aimed at Minimalist, and "we" are "picking on" Minimalist?

What are you talking about? I'm just fucking with BQ because I loooove her.