joke time

[Brian37]

Just saw this on twitter. 

Yup.

And you don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive *twice*.

My best friend from Oklahoma posted this meme, not on the trip I took with him the second time. But the year before when I went alone to Australia. And the bastard knew full well how much hate turbulence.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I once designed and built a cooking ‘utility belt’. While making meals, I would often have to fumble around for my spice containers. So I thought it would be a good to have them handy and in order, right round my middle.

It didn’t work - turned out to be a waist of thyme.

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

I once designed and built a cooking ‘utility belt’. While making meals, I would often have to fumble around for my spice containers. So I thought it would be a good to have them handy and in order, right round my middle.

It didn’t work - turned out to be a waist of thyme.

Boru

Should you be posting about fumbling around with your spice containers outside of A69?

[Darinda]

On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted its tail, and kissed it where the sun doesn’t shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing.

“Whudd’ya do that fer?” he asked.

“Got chapped lips,” the cowboy replied.

The old man asked, “Does that help?”

The cowboy said, “Nope, but it keeps me from lickin’ ’em.”

[Brian37]

A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.

She asked ...
How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

He replied ...
Yes, you'll be fine. Give it a week. That's how long it takes to heal after having your tonsils out."

That reminds me of the old joke, " How do you give a West Virginian a circumcision? Kick his sister in the teeth." DON'T BLAME ME, just repeating.

[Brian37]

I once designed and built a cooking ‘utility belt’. While making meals, I would often have to fumble around for my spice containers. So I thought it would be a good to have them handy and in order, right round my middle.

It didn’t work - turned out to be a waist of thyme.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I once designed and built a cooking ‘utility belt’. While making meals, I would often have to fumble around for my spice containers. So I thought it would be a good to have them handy and in order, right round my middle.

It didn’t work - turned out to be a waist of thyme.

Boru

Please don’t feel obligated to respond to my posts unless they’re directed at you.

Boru

[Brian37]

Please don’t feel obligated to respond to my posts unless they’re directed at you.

Boru

This is a joke thread. I actually thought your joke was funny. Corny. I have the same reaction when other people tell a good but corny joke.

Nothing wrong with being silly. But friends will always roll their eyes. I wasn't picking on you.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Before I was married, I told a girlfriend that I would kill anyone who hurt her.

Later on, I found out she was into self-harm. But, hey - a promise is a promise.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Please don’t feel obligated to respond to my posts unless they’re directed at you.

Boru

This is a joke thread. I actually thought your joke was funny. Corny. I have the same reaction when other people tell a good but corny joke.
l

I appreciate that you thought the joke was funny, but your response had nothing to do with the joke.

Boru