joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

My wife:  'I watched my first porn today.'

Me: 'Cool.'

My wife: 'I can't believe how young I was then.'

Me:

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

My wife:  'I watched my first porn today.'

Me: 'Cool.'

My wife: 'I can't believe how young I was then.'

Me:

Boru

Did you have a small part in it?

😇😇😇

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

'Second Codpiece'.

Boru

[Darinda]

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.”
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’”
Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can’t tell the Pope that. There must be another word.”
The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘aunt.’”
“Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Will these clear glass coffins become a trend? Remains to be seen.

Boru

[Darinda]

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’! There’s no paper on this side either!”

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

A man who has always wanted a pair of high-end cowboy boots finally decides to treat himself. When he gets home, he proudly stands in front of his wife and says, ‘Notice anything different about me?’

His missus looks him up and down and says she doesn’t. Angry that she didn’t notice his boots, he goes into the bedroom, strips off, and comes back into the living room wearing just the boots. ‘NOW do you notice anything different?’

She says, ‘What’s different? It’s drooping today, it was drooping yesterday, and it’ll be drooping tomorrow.’

He retorts, ‘It’s drooping because it’s admiring my new boots.’

‘Pity you didn’t buy a new hat.’

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Q: What's the only thing a vegan is allowed to kill?

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A: A conversation.

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Boru

[ignoramus]

^ They can be over the top...
One vegan walked into a bar and asked the bartender: "Are these cruelty-free peanuts?"

[Divinity]