Pay it forward...

[Violet]

I think the idea is if someone wants to pay you back, you just tell them to pass it on. I don't think you go around saying, "I'll help you, but you gotta make me a solemn promise."

This here. Pay it forward works by brightening one person's day via favor and not asking for anything in return... if they want to pay it back, tell them to pay it forward (if they're so set on tossing favors away: give them to others). That doesn't mean that you can't in the future ask for a favor of them... but it doesn't start the tally of a favor balance that way.

I'm more a fan of 'pay it last' when it comes strictly to monetary favors, but if I fall on hard times: I will ask if they can spare any of it at the time/soon. I'm just as happy thinking of it as a gift, a loan only in technicality.

Favors though? Sure, you could scratch my back after I scratch yours... but if you're going to be scratching someone's back like you're debted to do so? Scratch someone else's back. Please. SCRATCH IT FORWARD!

[thesummerqueen]

I think middle-class white people love the Starbucks pay it forward shit because it makes them feel like they're doing something good without expending too much effort. They're not doing shit - they're buying a similarly over-priced, over-sweetened and probably soyed-up cup of coffee to what they would have gotten for the person behind them after receiving one from the person before them.

The highest mitzvah is doing something for someone without knowing who they are or them knowing you - you don't do it for acclaim or to start something. You do it because it's the right thing to do. If someone does something for you, and asks nothing in return but that you perform what service you are able to give to someone else, that's paying it forward. They're helping you out, and somewhere down the road you're going to see someone in a situation where you're uniquely able to help out - financially, emotionally, intellectually, etc - and you'll be able to say the same to that person.

[Aoi Magi]

ooh, that actually is a brilliant scheme actually. If that happened to me though, I'd politely decline, or pay for a second coffee for the person infront of me. That way I can break the chain and be freeeeee!!!

[bennyboy]

Another reason to "pay it forward" is that it eliminates the guilt that the receiver can have. They owe you nothing, right from the first moment, and they are free to choose the moment of paying it forward. If they are never able to do so, they can just keep saying, "If I ever have a little extra, I'm looking forward to helping someone out."

All through my 20s, I had better jobs than most of my hippie musician friends, and I was constantly "lending" them not only money but also musical instruments, none of which I would ever see again and we both knew it. I didn't mind-- for me the payoff was knowing that a few bucks' investment would let my friends enjoy their campfire guitar playing or drum circles or whatever for a couple weeks without having to worry about food. I got to enjoy the gift vicariously through their happiness.

And that's the best reason to be generous, IMO. For an amount that is trivial to me, I can enjoy knowing that I've had a non-trivial beneficial effect on someone else's day. Not to put too fine a point on it, but-- Yay, me!

[Natachan]

That sort of line thing is not for me. It's not even that it's not spontaneous, but it's not genuine. Many a time I've seen someone at a gas station ask for a few bucks to get them home and I'll give them whatever is in my wallet, usually between five and twenty dollars. But in line at a grocery store or a Starbucks? That sounds more like an obligation, and I'm not as cool with that.

[Chili]

I had heard of this concept before, but forgotten about it. It's where the person in front of you pays for their own goods, and then yours, and then that can start a chain reaction of good will.

I was paid forward for the first time yesterday, at a Ralphs supermarket (chain store). About $40 worth of groceries.

I'm disabled, and usually fight tooth and nail against charity on me. So, I kind of lost my composure a bit. But then the young lady checking me through said that he's a Christian pastor, they know him well, and he does that all the time, and that it's called "Pay it forward".

In Florida, a man refused to participate in the PIF chain at a Starbucks, feeling like it wasn't spontaneous.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/man-deli...s-25088176

Looking back on it, he's potentially right. The first party in the chain gets the benefit of paying for another, and the very last gets the benefit of a free, or partially free order.

Any of you participated in this phenomenon yet? What do you think, if anything?

The preacher must feel guilty to do such a thing, but how does he know how much your bill will be? And how does the cashier deal with this?

[c172]

I think he just gave the cashier his card number and pointed me out, asking her to charge my stuff on his card. I didn't hear their exchange, and when I pulled up, I was told to put away my card; it was being paid for me.

[rexbeccarox]

C, you still have a Ralph's? I thought they all closed, but maybe just the one near my house. I'm ok with it; Stater Bros. has way better prices.

As to the OP: I ask people to "pay it forward" when I do favors a lot. It's like karma :p

[psychoslice]

Obviously doesn't exist in my parts. Seems like a bit of peer pressuring going on as Alex already said. Incite a little guilt so the chain keeps on working.

I prefer the freely giving without expecting anything back method.

Yes that's how it should be, other than that means nothing.

[thesummerqueen]

The preacher must feel guilty to do such a thing, but how does he know how much your bill will be? And how does the cashier deal with this?

Why would he have to feel guilty to do charity?