Ditching Superstition

[Strider]

Here's my deconversion story, if it can be called that since I'm not sure if I was ever a convert to begin with!

Like most kids in Mississippi, I went to Sunday School and church on Sunday. To be honest, I didn't pay much attention. I got to see my friends, and all we wanted to do was go outside and play once church was over. I don't know how they felt, but I could not have cared less about what the preacher said. I was an inquisitive kid, curious and imaginative. My very nature led me to question what I was told

I remember making these movable paper things to simulate Moses parting the Red Sea. Naturally, I started thinking, "How did this guy part all that water?" Upon asking the Sunday School teacher, she solemnly said, "God helped him." This was unsatisfactory for me as it didn't answer anything. I noticed a pattern in the stories - there was a hell of a lot of magic. If the same god was still around then where did all this magical stuff go?

The moment I realized I did not believe in a god came when I was around nine. My little brother and I were up the road at a neighbor's house with my father. Somehow the conversation turned to Santa Claus (it was around December) and my brother said something about Santa. Keep in mind that he was about six years old at the time. These neighbors laughed at him and told him there was no such thing. I had a rush of anger and I remember thinking, "And you people believe in a bearded man in the sky." I was more or less a non-believer at that point.

There were times after that when I went to church, but I never really wanted to. I went because I was forced to go and in my teenage years I went because my girlfriend went. At times, I felt bad that I didn't believe, as though it somehow made me a bad person. My atheism was a secret shame. Other times I actually wanted to believe, but I just couldn't force myself to believe in something I knew to be false. It was all so wildly illogical and incompatible with day-to-day existence and at odds with science and common sense.

What is amazing to me now is that my indoctrination was so thorough and religion is so engrained in everything here that I felt shame and even self-loathing at times for not believing. A belief system I didn't even believe in was making me feel bad about myself. How nuts is that?

Anyway, I accepted myself for who I was during my college days. And that's that, as the idiom goes.

That's more or less it. I've had insane experiences at madhouse churches (witnessing maniacs speaking in "tongues", a preacher absolutely losing his mind because the choir played a song that had a DRUM in it, etc.) and those didn't help matters any, but I was already far gone even before that type of madness. If anybody has any specific questions or wants the details of some of those other crazy occurrences, just let me know!

[Alex K]

Interesting story, thx for sharing!
What's the problem with drums again?

[Strider]

Interesting story, thx for sharing!
What's the problem with drums again?

I've heard several strange reasons. Some people associate drums with rock music, which is frowned upon. Others claim drums have a long history with voodoo, shamanism, and such. Still, others object to them because they were never explicitly mentioned in the bible as though that is a valid reason.

This guy specifically though? I think he was just an ass.

[Kloud]

This was a really Interesting story, reminds me of myself when I was a bit younger and how Illogical everything was to me.

[MissR]

I can relate to you a lot. I tried to believe too but deep down always knew it was a crock. Sometimes I wish everyone would just say that the magic stories are all lies and so is God, like they admitted of Santa. It's nice to be in reality, though, isn't it? Reality is not so bad.

[Kitty Galore]

This is a short version of my story. It is not put together very well, I apologize. I wrote it in reply to another thread and decided I would keep it for a more appropriate thread.

I grew up going from my mom's to my grandparents on weekends. We moved a lot. Occasionally, if we stayed somewhere long enough I would go to Sunday School for a few weeks before we moved again. I thought the stories were like fairy tales, Disney. And then the threats of hell and all. I didn't take much of it seriously. When I was at grandma's and she tucked me in, we said the Lord's Prayer, and the Apostles Creed and the list of people we were blessing. LOL.

I took what I was brought up to be, in a non practicing Lutheran household (meaning not going to church and praying regularly since childhood), but identifying as Lutheran because I am of Norwegian upper midwest decent. Because that's what we do, don'cha know.

I accepted that was who I was, what I was taught. I just said that's what I am, and what I believe. I was not "churchy" I never really felt I belonged or comfortable in any of those types of settings. No matter how hard I tried and wanted it, it was always a fight. It just never took. No real belief, no passion.

I ignored the whole dinosaur thing, thinking well, God must have created them too. The timelines just don't coincide with the stories in the bible.

Something that I felt I knew all along. I wasn't converted, I just met someone the same as me.

Basically I just didn't think about it too hard. My family was laid back. I did share the guilt that the OP referred to.

I looked into other religions thinking maybe I had just not found the "right" one for me. Kind of like a few years of bad dates. LOL

Then I met someone and we talked about truth, bible stories, science. We had long deep discussions and I felt free and relieved that I had been finally educated. I found my belief. I found my passion. I found what I was looking for. Not struggling or faking it. A belief I could really believe in.

A belief in based in reality, not fear and fairy tales.