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Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 8:49 pm
I have recently started seeing a girl that I found out goes to church semi regularly. I'm not 100% sure if she knows I'm a atheist, I have made allusions around her when we are around others, but by and large I don't really care about religion in my day to day life.
I know she doesn't hold any bigotry because of it and she doesn't bring up religion either so I think I am safe for now.
However I also know that it is something she draws solice from since her parents are both dead. I have already resolved that if it ever comes up I will be entirely honest with her, but I won't try to convert her. Still I want more advice. This is new territory for me in many ways.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 8:55 pm
(This post was last modified: January 5, 2015 at 8:55 pm by abaris.)
Hard for me to say. I dated witches and pagans, but as far as I know, never in my life have I dated a devout christian. It's really hard to say, since in my corner of the world, since you usually don't talk about religion. But the way you told your story, it seems she's not the devout sort. If she were, chances are that at some point there would be a clash.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 9:02 pm
(This post was last modified: January 5, 2015 at 9:02 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 9:02 pm
Tell her the truth when the time comes. Be prepared for a shitstorm.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 9:05 pm
Conversation between my sister and a Christian I dated about a year ago (I was in the bathroom):
My sister: well, you know Becca's pretty active on her Atheist forum.
Him: Becca's not an atheist.
My sister: (grunts) uh... yes she is.
Him: No she's not. She's a good person.
My sister: Yes she is, and yes she is.
When I got back to them, they were in a heated argument about it.
Me: Yes; I'm a non-believer. An atheist, if you will.
Him: You can't be.
Me: Well, I am.
He chuckled and changed the subject, then stopped responding to my texts the next day. I didn't really care. If he can't accept reality, I can't accept him. The funny thing is that he had no idea! I mean, I don't go around talking about it, but a lot of my friends, believers and non-believers, joke about my involvement in all things secular... often. He must have tuned them out.
Lemon, I'd have a talk with her ASAP. Just be up front, just in case she doesn't know. If she can't accept you for you, and you for her, you have your answer before you get too deeply involved.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 9:50 pm
(January 5, 2015 at 8:49 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: I have recently started seeing a girl that I found out goes to church semi regularly. I'm not 100% sure if she knows I'm a atheist, I have made allusions around her when we are around others, but by and large I don't really care about religion in my day to day life.
I know she doesn't hold any bigotry because of it and she doesn't bring up religion either so I think I am safe for now.
However I also know that it is something she draws solice from since her parents are both dead. I have already resolved that if it ever comes up I will be entirely honest with her, but I won't try to convert her. Still I want more advice. This is new territory for me in many ways.
I've dated a couple Christian girls, and all of them became less christian (ie going to church less, questioning their faith, etc) by dating me atleast for a time. Idk if its because I watched shows like cosmos with them all the time, or if they just saw that I was good without God, but if you don't make a big deal about it then you should be fine.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 10:00 pm
(January 5, 2015 at 8:55 pm)abaris Wrote: Hard for me to say. I dated witches and pagans, but as far as I know, never in my life have I dated a devout christian. It's really hard to say, since in my corner of the world, since you usually don't talk about religion. But the way you told your story, it seems she's not the devout sort. If she were, chances are that at some point there would be a clash.
Its the same in my corner. Most people my age don't really give a fuck about religion.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 10:01 pm
In case any of you are wondering, there are gays out there that possess a considerable christian bent.
To the extent they aggravate most of the rest of the fundies and evangelicals, more power to them. LOL !!
However, that doesn't mean I would want to date one again.
I knew an MCC pastor many years ago too. Cool dude, as they say, and certainly easy on the eyes, but I'd never be able to take the religiosity for very long, even if he was drop dead handsome while delivering the message.
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 10:17 pm
I can't say for sure. I'm most definitely be up front and honest about it now because it will come up eventually. Best to address it now and see if it's going to be an issue.
As an aside, I dated a girl who was a devout Christian. To describe the relationship as an incredibly frustrating and unfulfilling experience would be a kindness.
"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." ~ Benjamin Franklin
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RE: Advice for dating a Christian
January 5, 2015 at 10:27 pm
(January 5, 2015 at 9:50 pm)Mental Outlaw Wrote: (January 5, 2015 at 8:49 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: I have recently started seeing a girl that I found out goes to church semi regularly. I'm not 100% sure if she knows I'm a atheist, I have made allusions around her when we are around others, but by and large I don't really care about religion in my day to day life.
I know she doesn't hold any bigotry because of it and she doesn't bring up religion either so I think I am safe for now.
However I also know that it is something she draws solice from since her parents are both dead. I have already resolved that if it ever comes up I will be entirely honest with her, but I won't try to convert her. Still I want more advice. This is new territory for me in many ways.
I've dated a couple Christian girls, and all of them became less christian (ie going to church less, questioning their faith, etc) by dating me atleast for a time. Idk if its because I watched shows like cosmos with them all the time, or if they just saw that I was good without God, but if you don't make a big deal about it then you should be fine.
My wife was Catholic. Then she met me, started having some actual fun and adventure, and realized there were more fun ways to spend a Sunday than singing about Jesus.
So the question is, is this girl just stating her denomination, or is she glass-eyed, waiting-for-the-Rapture fucking crazy? Because the former is fine, as long as you are a basically decent person. The latter is going to end up with you getting special Kool-Aid on your 50th birthday.
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