Melanie's marvelous measles

[Jacob(smooth)]

I... I just...

NO! FUCKING NO!!! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!


This is an actual, real book, which has recently been republished. Available on Amazon here.

http://www.amazon.com/Melanies-Marvelous...1466938897

The reviews restore a little faith in humanity. But only a little.

I'm trying to find the words here, but they seem pale and inadequate. This is just so fucked up on so many levels it's hard to know where to begin.

Here is the synopsis

Melanie is off school with measles. Some children in her class are scared of catching measles. One sanctimonious little twit named Jared announces that he won’t catch measles because he’s been vaccinated and that the unvaccinated boy next to him, Travis, is going to die. Travis, while missing the point entirely, still manages to pwn Jared by pointing that, although he hasn’t had any jabs, he’s still alive.

Jared didn’t know what to say to that!

Melanie’s friend, Tina, goes home and asks her mother about measles. She is told that,

For most children it is a good thing to get measles…Many wise people believe measles make the body stronger and more for the future,


We learn that Tina is unvaccinated because when her old brother, Sam, got jabbed he was very sick afterwards and, although he apparently recovered enough to lead a normal life and go to football training after school, he now has a “weak immune system”.

Having been persuaded that getting measles is just about the most fun a child can have, Tina wants to visit Melanie so she can catch measles. Her mother thinks that’s a “great idea”. (I assure you I am not making this up; it really is in the book.)

They visit Melanie who, as it turns out, was vaccinated and yet managed to end up with the “worst case of measles the doctor had ever seen”. But Melanie is proud of her big spots and can’t wait to show them to her friend. She says they’re not itchy or hurty at all and she is quite well enough to be up playing with her dolls like a proper little girl.

Tina and her mother take her some carrot juice and melon, so that Tina’s mother can give readers a mini-lecture on the importance of Vitamin A, probably picked up from some quack magazine.

I read that if your body has plenty of Vitamin A, you won’t get measles…

Happily, Melanie gets better and Tina laments that she didn’t catch measles. Cue another lecture from Mum about the benefits of her healthy lifestyle of raw food, exercise, sunshine, etc.

The totally unexpected twist, of course, is that the smugly vaccinated Jared does get measles. Tina isn’t a bit surprised, given all the sweets and other crap he eats. We’re not told as much but presumably all those sweets he’s been eating is the reason why Jared doesn’t seem to be enjoying his measles nearly as much as Melanie and is lying in bed looking miserable instead of up and playing happily with a train set or something.

In spite of the story ending abruptly with Tina expressing the hope that one day she’ll be “lucky enough to catch measles”, she says nothing about visiting poor Jared.

Serves him right, I guess

[Alex K]

I'm tempted to create a meme with a grave stone on it and the same text

[Jacob(smooth)]

I'm tempted to create a meme with a grave stone on it and the same text

---

Let me make it worse. The title is a ripoff of Roald Dahl s book "George's marvellous medicine".

Roald Dahl also wrote this in an open letter

Olivia, my eldest daughter, caught measles when she was seven years old. As the illness took its usual course I can remember reading to her often in bed and not feeling particularly alarmed about it. Then one morning, when she was well on the road to recovery, I was sitting on her bed showing her how to fashion little animals out of coloured pipe-cleaners, and when it came to her turn to make one herself, I noticed that her fingers and her mind were not working together and she couldn’t do anything.

“Are you feeling all right?” I asked her.

“I feel all sleepy,” she said.

In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.

That's a level of fucked upness I can't even relate to.

[Alex K]

"Mom's Marvelous Munchhausen by Proxy" didn't fit the cover

[Jacob(smooth)]

Look out for the equally socially responsible sequel from the same author, "Sandra's super self harm". A colourful and fun way to teach kids that cutting yourself is a healthy and fun form of self expression.

[Aoi Magi]

I hope the author is writing these crap while locked away in some mental asylum somewhere, or else there is no hope for humanity.

[Alex K]

You wish.
I'm sure she is a loving anti-vaxxer mother of many children, throwing measles parties for everyone.

I hope the author is writing these crap while locked away in some mental asylum somewhere, or else there is no hope for humanity.

[Jacob(smooth)]

I hope the author is writing these crap while locked away in some mental asylum somewhere, or else there is no hope for humanity.

Yeah, she's not, and thus there isn't. Actually given that this is the Re release, she's probably made many, many dollars from it.

We're all doomed.

---

It's not even fucking internally consistent! The book spends half the time saying how amazing measles is, promoting the idea that mums should actively try to make sure their children get it, then also go out of their way to say that the vaccinated kids DID get it, and the unvaccinated kids did not get measles! By that logic the vaccines are good because they make you get the marvelous measles!

At least pick an irrational lie and stick with it!

[Lucanus]

I don't have words for this... These people are fucking lemmings.

[pocaracas]

That's one way to get Natural Selection to work... I guess....