God's communication log

[Longhorn]

'You should all send Vic truckloads of money and also whipped cream, and hugs wouldn't hurt either'

You heard the man.

A great big ol' cyber hug to you! Sorry, I ran out of truckloads of money but when I get a shipment, I will send one your way

Yay! I'm gawd is pleased

[robvalue]

Ashground: Ugh, that's absolutely horrific The sad thing is, all she is doing is following the example set in the bible.

[BitchinHitchins]

"Your bacon has been in the oven for 5 minutes too long. Might want to go check on it so it doesn't burn"

Ah, he is just the greatest isn't he? I would be baconless without him.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

Still no theists yet on this thread. Maybe they're full of shit!

Good thread idea robvalue. Maybe one will be brave enough to give us a prediction, but I lack the faith that that will occur. Maybe we'll get a, "That's not how god works" or "God doesn't like to be tested like this, you're hurting his feelings, because he's jealous and sensitive."

[Thumpalumpacus]

Stardate 1531.722. Sabbath observed. I took time from wandering through Heaven's gardens when I realized that there we two unmarried people down on Earth being adulterous.

Stardate 1531.724 I summoned Peter to find what was the meaning of all this. He replied, "Sir, that's what you're supposed to tell us." Sent Peter to dig a 10' x 10' hole in the clouds, and then refill it.

Stardate 1531.725 Gabriel reports a case of adultery occurring on Earth. Why is he always so slow? Was I wrong to give him a raise this last quarter?

Stardate 1531.731 The adulterers have climaxed. It was apparently pretty good, judging by the number of times they tried to summon me. But the roses in the garden needed watering, so I left them in their earthly bliss and did not attend.

Stardate 1531.740 I have decided that they should indeed be stoned to death per my allegory in Leviticus. Michael has been sent to gather a crowd and locate suitable rocks.

Stardate 1531.887 After some delay, the woman has been set into the ground and the rocks are flying. Praise me!

Stardae 1531.942 The gentleman has been released with the admonition to behave better next time. Boys will be boys.

[robvalue]

Still no theists yet on this thread. Maybe they're full of shit!

Good thread idea robvalue. Maybe one will be brave enough to give us a prediction, but I lack the faith that that will occur. Maybe we'll get a, "That's not how god works" or "God doesn't like to be tested like this, you're hurting his feelings, because he's jealous and sensitive."

Thank you

I don't mind what the message is really, it doesn't have to be profound. I'm just interested in what communications people think they are getting, and how they are getting them.

So far none I guess, or people are shy about them.

[Salacious B. Crumb]

So far none I guess, or people are shy about them.

No, they are just completely full of shit, or have deluded themselves so much, that they can't see what's man-made and what's not anymore, which is sad.

They'll never ask for information to confirm that they're actually talking to a supreme being, they're perfectly content living in ignorance, not questioning anything. Or, some of them are just too afraid to do so, because they might find out that they were wrong all along. Me, I want to find out what is true to the best of my abilities. Some people love fantasy land so much, that it's now a security blanket for them, and there's just no hope of taking it away from them.

[Foxaèr]

I thought this was supposed to be a serious thread. Should there not be any responses because god does not speak at all to anyone?

[ignoramus]

Rob, I think I worked it out.
To those chosen few that God does in fact speak to, he finished with a disclaimer:


As always, should you be caught or killed, the Secretary of Heaven will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
This voice in your head will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim/sucker.

[robvalue]

Yeah, this is a serious thread, but I'd never discourage a bit of fun and silliness anyhow

I would genuinely be interested in what theists have to report. I'm not going to make fun of them, if one is brave enough to come forward.