If God were a woman, the dick would be affixed to the chin.
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Current time: January 11, 2025, 8:42 pm
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Ridiculous Apologetic Atheists
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If God were a woman, the Hebrews never would have massacred the Amalekites. The Hebrews would have sat them down and said things like, 'When we tell you we have a problem, we don't want you to fix it, we want you to understand it' until the Amalekites, burdened with undeserved grief, stormed off and took the Canaanites out for drinks.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (September 24, 2015 at 7:14 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If God were a woman, the Hebrews never would have massacred the Amalekites. The Hebrews would have sat them down and said things like, 'When we tell you we have a problem, we don't want you to fix it, we want you to understand it' until the Amalekites, burdened with undeserved grief, stormed off and took the Canaanites out for drinks. Unfortunately, the ancient scroll Yahweh Is From Venus / Satan Is From Mars didn't make the cut when the Bible was compiled. 
Okay let me give it a go.
Ridiculous you say? If not for Christianity boiled sons would be considered delicious, buying slaves from your neighbors would be A-okay, mass murdering is cool if you're on vacation, people with uncovered heads or torn clothing would die, annoying kids would be killed off, everyone brave enough to mention god's name would also be murdered, more people would eat their kids, people would offer up their daughters to be raped, women would be forced to be silent, remarriage after divorce would be illegal, men with crushed testicles or removed dicks would be ostracized, and dragons would terrorize the earth!! Oh wait.... 2 Kings 6:29, Leviticus 25:44, Deuteronomy 13:12-15, Leviticus 10:6, Leviticus 20:9, Leviticus 24:16, Deuteronomy 28:53, Genesis 19:8, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, Mark 10:11-12, Deuteronomy 23:1, Revelation 20:7, Revelation 20:1-15, Isaiah 27:1, 
I meant this thread in a way that I would hope actual Christians take these excuses and use them. Imagine that. xD
Hard to beat anything from either Answers in Genesis or Got Questions.
 (September 24, 2015 at 7:39 pm)Losty Wrote: Okay let me give it a go. Yeah but could you boil kids in their mother's milk?
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
I just became lactose intolerant!
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