Some parental advice from all the lovely parentals? Non parentals also welcome :D

[Losty]

Ok next thing...


Someone help me explain to my daughter why she cannot have a sleep over with her friend who is a boy... O_O

Why can't she?

I don't have a problem with it, but his parents do. And she understands it to that extent but she wants to know why. Because kids love that question. I'm just trying to think of a good way to help her understand why many parents are against boy/girl sleepovers. I'm having a hard time because I don't really understand it myself.

[brewer]

Ok next thing...


Someone help me explain to my daughter why she cannot have a sleep over with her friend who is a boy... O_O

Whose house, yours or his?

Is he asking the same thing of his parents? The answer he gets may solve your problem.

Easy way out just say, boys and girls don't sleep together until they are older. (do not give an age, just older, much older) And at 7, boys sleeping over isn't that much fun anyway.

Last straw is yes, but with a set bedtime and separate rooms for sleep. No different from boy/girl siblings or cousins.

[brewer]

Why can't she?

I don't have a problem with it, but his parents do. And she understands it to that extent but she wants to know why. Because kids love that question. I'm just trying to think of a good way to help her understand why many parents are against boy/girl sleepovers. I'm having a hard time because I don't really understand it myself.

Bold mine. Easy, you don't get to make the rules for their house/their child, they don't make the rules for yours. Then let her ask the boy and see what he says.

[Losty]

I'm not really looking for an easy out. I want to give my daughter an honest explanation that she can understand. I tried telling her that some parents don't think boys should stay the night with girls but she just asked why again. I told her I wasn't sure but I would ask. Haha so I'm asking you guys.

[Edwardo Piet]

I think the honest answer, at least IMO: Would be that some people feel that girls and boys are more different than they actually are. Many parents find these perceived differences significant. Even though, IMO, besides their biological differences, both sexes are actually far more similar than different.

(Of course if you do say something like that, Losty, paraphrase it appropriately for her level).

[vorlon13]

I'm not really looking for an easy out. I want to give my daughter an honest explanation that she can understand. I tried telling her that some parents don't think boys should stay the night with girls but she just asked why again. I told her I wasn't sure but I would ask. Haha so I'm asking you guys.

Seriously, she's 7 right ?

That John Rosemond with the column in the paper says it is perfectly fine to use the explanation "Because I said so".

And that is the end of that.  No debate, no discussion, case closed, move on to something else.

Really, it's that easy.


It's over.

[Losty]

That's not the way I choose to raise my kids though. I try not to ever say "because I said so". In most cases I like that my kids want to know why. I think questioning authority is a good thing. I want my kids to be independent thinkers. They're kids, so yes, a lot of times I have to overrule them on things but I want them to know why I'm doing it.

[Edwardo Piet]

I wish more parents were like you Losty, the whole "because I said so" thing pisses me off. If only more people were brought up to think independently instead of to not question authority.

[Losty]

Thanks Evie.

[vorlon13]

That's not the way I choose to raise my kids though. I try not to ever say "because I said so". In most cases I like that my kids want to know why. I think questioning authority is a good thing. I want my kids to be independent thinkers. They're kids, so yes, a lot of times I have to overrule them on things but I want them to know why I'm doing it.

Rosemond is in the local paper every other Tuesday.  No kids here, but the column is well written, and he makes LOADS of sense.

Get one of his books and try it out on the kiddlette for a couple months and see if parenting gets drastically easier (and the kid is just as happy/adjusted or even better).